School aged | Hear Mum Roar

What I did on the first day back to school

Written on February 1st, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Challenges, February 2011, In the home, Organisation, School aged

There’s something about starting a new school year that makes me want to try to make life easier each year. A few days leading up to the new school term, I began trying a new system to manage my time and get a little more done.

After years of going off and on Flylady with varying levels of success, I’ve started dedicating only two hours per day to cleaning the house. Flylady bangs on about doing fifteen minutes a day for all these different jobs, and I was always frustrated to find that before I knew it, I’d be cleaning all day if I followed her system. Really, that’s not how I want to live my life. Two hours per day is still more time than I usually spend anyway, so it seems to be accomplishing more.

What I do, is I pick out the most disastrous looking areas of the house first, and start with those. As time goes on, the house looks a little bit better everyday, and I’m finding it easier to keep on top of things. Here’s yesterday’s disaster I found after Missy 10 trotted off to school:

Yep, it’s our very own dumping ground, *blush*. That’s where the bills and school notes were getting plonked, then lost. When we needed a bill or note, we had buckley’s of finding it on time. Not to mention how difficult it was to open the microwave, clean it or let the vents on the sides breathe. I thought this was a perfect place to start, as I knew my daughter would be bringing notes home, and I wanted to start out the year having a proper place for them.

Here, I’ve decluttered the area, and created a yellow folder. In the folder, Missy 10 has been instructed that this is where all of her school notes will be placed as soon as she gets home from school. Once they’re out of date, we’ll remove them. We already have an expanding folder for our bills, so it was a matter of just putting them in the right place. All the other clutter simply needed to be put back in its place or thrown out. You can just imagine how much time we wasted with all this junk piling up when we were looking for something, or trying to use the microwave.

Now, obviously, this wasn’t the only job I got done in an hour, but I thought this was a great example of a starting point to better organisation in the new school year.

I’ll be sticking with this system, because I’m amazed at what I can get done in two hours. Once the two hours are finished, I stop for the day. I either let the two younger kids help me as I go, or give them a play activity, or they play together with their own made-up game. The first day I tried doing just two hours a day of cleaning, I got the lounge room floor vacuumed, the kitchen floor swept and mopped, four loads of laundry washed and in varying stages of drying, lots of forgotten laundry put away and a heap of decluttering. By focusing on the jobs in most desperate need of being done, it means that everyone in the house is much calmer. Things are being dealt with that need to be, and our living space is feeling more pleasant again.

And now I want the dirt from you guys: where is YOUR disaster area, that you dump all your crap on? Spill!

Other reading:

Pushing kids to do their best

How to get rid of flies

How to clean carpet naturally

Students’ homework: how much should we help?

Decluttering and recycling at the same time

Home made air freshener

How to unblock your sink without using poisons

Finding the time to do it all – time saving tips

School supplies on a budget

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Childhood regression

Written on January 30th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Behaviour, Challenges, Emotional, January 2011, Parenting, Preschool aged, School aged, Social, Toddler

Has your potty-trained child ever started to suddenly struggle with their toileting? Have you ever had a four year old start throwing tantrums all over again, right when you thought you were past all that? Has your preschooler ever suddenly become clingy to you, almost wanting to be ‘babied’ by you? You’re not alone, and it’s perfectly normal.

When a child regresses in their behaviour or in their development, it can really freak us parents out! We just get comfortable after our child becomes more competent at new skills, they become more independent and we look forward to just a little bit of smooth sailing for a little while. Then this happens! We sometimes worry where we’ve gone wrong, did we miss something?

Mr 4 has been regressing in a lot of areas lately at home. He’s gone ‘backwards’ in his potty training, is becoming more clingy towards me, has started having the occasional (but explosive!) tantrum here and there and generally seeks out situations where he can be ‘babied’ by me. He also tries to create situations to get more attention from me after he’s gone to bed than usual.

Usually when our children start acting out of character in different ways all at once, it’s enough to trigger most parents into realising that something’s awry. We have an instinct for a reason, and when our child shows regressive behaviour, it’s time to listen to that instinct.

What can cause regression in a child?

This list is not exhaustive, but there are many situations that can cause a child to regress:

- Death of a family member, friend or pet

- Divorce or separation

- Moving to a new home

- A sick parent/guardian or sibling

- When a parent/guardian starts a new job

- Starting a new childcare centre/preschool/school

- Being bullied at school

- Pregnancy/the birth of a new sibling

- Unrest in the household (for example, parents arguing frequently, domestic violence, etc)

- Sometimes, as a child gains a lot of independence, it can lead to feelings of insecurity of not being the baby anymore.

….and the list goes on.

As a parent, in most cases, you’d be aware of your child’s situation, except for bullying (but we can probe for that!). When you scan this list, I’m sure you’ll have noticed that there is a common thread in most of these causes: change. To begin to understand your child’s regression, looking for major changes in your child’s life is a great place to start.

With Mr 4, we pinpointed his regression as being related to his father’s recent stint in hospital again, along with the knowledge that my partner will be going back to hospital again soon. Another significant aspect of our home life for us to consider was the fact that everyday, my son watches me care for my partner, helping him with his medicine and tasks he finds difficult. Also, because my partner has severe OCD, our sons sees his dad have meltdowns, and me talking him down from it.

Mr 4 has a two year old sister who’s begun potty training, and despite her constant fights for independence, needs more help from me generally than he does. Honestly, is it any wonder he’s reacting this way? Having talked to him about this, he feels that help or care, is equivalent to love. In his eyes, the person getting the most help, is getting the most love. Simply put, he wants a piece of the pie!

During our talk, I let him know that he can have love from me anytime he wants. He doesn’t have to have a ‘need’ for me to do something for him. Anytime he wants to, he can ask me for a kiss, or a cuddle. I can put aside time during the day to play with him, or he can hang out with me while I’m doing other things. When he’s my helper, that’s special time together too.

Most importantly, I made it clear to him that Missy 2 isn’t always going to be so needy. She’s potty training, and soon will be able to go to the toilet by herself, without any help from me. He realises now that she’s doing more and more things for herself everyday, so that makes him feel a little better. I drew his attention to the fact that as I help his dad, I’m working on helping him to be able to more things for himself, too, and that he’s slowly getting better.

I’m finding in the past week or two, he’s still quite fragile about things, but instead of reverting to regressive behaviour, is taking advantage of those other ways we talked about for him and I to spend time together. We spent one afternoon with him making a ‘parcel’ from the postie, over and over again. He simply got a box, filled it with different toys, and delivered it to me with a grin: ‘I’ve got a parcel for you!’ Then I would admire all the wonderful ‘surprises’ he’d given me. He chats with me, does chores with me, watches me do things, and asks me for lots and lots of cuddles!

Does this mean I wasn’t available or providing opportunities for this to happen before this happened? Of course not! It’s just that he hadn’t made the distinction that I was there for him as well, it’s just that he didn’t need the same sort of help that his sister and dad needed. That the love and time I give him usually, counts in just the same way.

The other thing that I’m doing to deal with this, is I’m giving him lots of opportunities to talk about his fears, worries and feelings in general. Basically, I find that when my children have regressed, after I find out the cause, I talk with them about it as well as try to replace this new behaviour with something a little healthier. I’ve not had the need yet for my children to ever have counselling over any big changes in their lives, but if I felt it was needed, I’d provide it in a heartbeat.

I’d love to hear everyone else’s tips on how they deal with their children’s regressive times in life.

Other reading:
Finding the source of your child’s anger

Helping kids to make choices

Emotional development – how to help children talk about feelings

Reflective listening

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Letting your child witness birth: is it immoral?

Written on January 28th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Baby, Challenges, Emotional, January 2011, Parenting, School aged, Social

I follow many facebook ‘like’ pages, and one conversation that appeared in my feed inspired me to write today. It was at Designer Mama’s page. The question was raised about whether or not it was appropriate for children to witness the birth of their siblings. As a mother who has allowed this, obviously I have strong opinions about this.

This photo was taken minutes after I cleaned up after giving birth to my son. As you can see, my eldest daughter was right there with us, looking happy and unscathed.

There was quite a bit of negative discussion on this facebook page about this topic (including questioning the morals of mums who do this), so I felt moved to share our story. I also knew that sharing on the facebook page would not give me enough space to express my feelings fully.

When I fell pregnant with my second child, my eldest daughter was five years old. She already had three step siblings who don’t live with us, and was so excited that I was having a baby. This would be a new brother or sister for her that would be raised with her! More importantly to her, she was going to finally be a big sister.

In the first five months of my pregnancy, my daughter was being homeschooled at the time. She was attending all of my appointments at the birthing centre with me. It’s important to point out here, that by this time, she had asked me how the baby would come out, and had been told all about vaginal birth. We told her that’s how she was born, and probably this next child would be born that way, too. We also had already told her about c section births as well, that some mothers need that option when vaginal birth doesn’t work out for them.

One day, my daughter said to me, ‘am I going to be left at home alone when you go to the hospital to have the baby?’ We told her, of course not! We would make sure someone would look after her. She then asked me if she could come to the hospital to watch the baby’s birth. My partner and I told her we needed to talk about that idea first, then we’d get back to her.

Now, this wasn’t a first for my partner. He had been married before, and his then wife had an emergency home birth (in other words, not by choice) and their eldest child witnessed the whole thing (he was four years old at the time), also not by choice. Everything happened so quickly, there was no time to find something else for him to do.

My partner’s eldest son from his first marriage handled the situation quite well, and as children, he and his sister had a very good bond with one another. So, we knew it could work, and saw the positives. My partner and I were still worried, though. Just because one child handles a situation well, doesn’t mean all children will. We wanted, like all parents, to protect our child from any unnecessary trauma.

We laid down some ground rules. We told our daughter that she could come to the birth, but only if she was prepared to do certain things first.

1) If she watched some birthing dvds beforehand and still felt fine about coming, she could come. If she wasn’t prepared to watch the dvds, then we believed that she wasn’t ready for witnessing our birth, either. We didn’t force her to watch the dvds, but not watching them would mean she’d need to stay at home with a sitter. We felt this was more than fair, and so did our daughter. We wanted her to have some insight into what she could expect to happen. We told her if she changed her mind at any time and didn’t want to go, that was fine.

2) We gave her lots of books to read about giving birth. These were picture books, and were very informative for her.

3) If she was scared during the birth at any time, she could leave the room.

4) We would have a babysitter attend the birth to look after her.

The midwives at the birthing centre were very supportive of our choice to let our daughter attend the birth. They loaned me dozens of birthing dvds (we chose dvds that mostly featured water birth, as that was my plan for this birth) and books for my daughter to read. We discussed all material that our daughter read or watched at great length. We continually asked her if she wanted to change her mind, and made it clear it was ok to do that. She was adamant. She did not want to miss this birth for the world! I think it’s important to mention here that my eldest daughter is obsessed with science and has always been this way. She is naturally very inquisitive, to the point where she will gladly witness something quite revolting in the name of science!

Given that my first birth had been a 12 hour birth (but had a lot of intervention), my partner and I gave plenty of thought to how our five year old daughter would spend her time during the birth. I was shown the birthing centre room, there was a lounge suite with a tv and dvd player, a double bed and a bathroom. We let her pack a bag of things she’d like to do, and told her she could also watch tv, sleep or go play outside with an adult if she got bored or tired. The birthing centre also had a kitchenette, and my daughter and partner enjoyed some raisin toast in the first hour of my birth.

At one appointment, my daughter and I were walking past the hospital kiosk, when she noticed the ‘it’s a boy!’ and ‘it’s a girl!’ balloons for sale. She thought these were the most wonderful idea! We promised her that when the baby was born, it’d be her job to go to the kiosk with dad to choose one for the baby, and Dad would buy it. Now she she was really psyched.

I won’t recount the entire birth here, as I’ve already shared my birthing stories as much as I intend to. But I will share here what’s relevant to the topic. On the day my waters broke, it was quite early in the morning. The sun was just coming up. We woke our daughter, and hot-footed it to the hospital. That’s why my daughter looks quite bedraggled in the photo above, because she’d just gotten out of bed a few hours ago, and thrown on the first clothes she found!

We ended up abandoning our idea of bringing in a babysitter, as we felt we didn’t have enough time to make arrangements and get me to hospital. As it turned out, the whole thing was over pretty quickly.

Plan B without a babysitter was that my partner would take care of her during the birth. This worked very well for us, because this was a nice, easy birth. It was a short birth, so our worries about our daughter getting bored went out the window. She stayed to watch the whole thing. The biggest problem she had, was that because I was water birthing, she wanted to get closer to the action to see what was going on! But never mind…

After my son was born, he floated under water for a little while, then the midwife asked me to pick him up out of the water. As I carefully did this, I heard my girl shrieking, ‘oh, he’s so cute!’ For all the pain I’d just gone through, my five year old daughter helped to reinforce that this whole birth was a joyful time. Don’t get me wrong, I was excited, holding my new baby boy in my arms, but I love the fact that my daughter’s presence just made the whole experience so much more blissful.

Her and my partner ended up like two silly, excited little kids together! It was so funny. They went to buy the balloon as I cleaned up, and I think my daughter loved that ‘it’s a boy!’ balloon more than our son.

We made sure to give our daughter plenty of chances to talk about the birth afterward, and mostly her memories from it are how cute her brother looked, and the funny sound he made soon after. Another mum friend from my daughter’s school told me that her daughter found out from my girl, that babies come out of the mother’s vagina. She said she was a bit miffed, but then she joked that, ‘oh well, you’ve saved me the awkwardness of having to tell her!’

I have found that with such a wide age gap, my daughter who is now ten, and my son who is now four, have an extremely tight bond. I’m so relieved, because when my daughter found out I was having a boy (via ultrasound), she was sorely disappointed. Those first few weeks were obviously hard for my daughter to adjust to not being the only child in this house anymore. However, I feel that having witnessed the birth, she was more compassionate towards me. I tried to give her as much attention as I could (which is always a challenge with a newborn), but she was very understanding of how tired and sore I was because she was there to see why.

I like knowing that when she gets to the age that her peers are having sex, she will have the awareness that sex is not a decision to take lightly. Pregnancy is not something to take lightly. And although I’ve let her witness that birth is a painful thing, I’m so glad that her first exposure to child birth was a positive, relaxed one.

Once I fell pregnant with our third child, of course we asked her again if she’d like to be at the birth. Early on, she wanted to. We had decided that our son, who would be two months shy of two years old, shouldn’t be at the birth. We toyed with the idea of having him there with a babysitter, but it just didn’t feel right. We organised a babysitter for our son at home during the birth, and once our eldest daughter found out about it, she didn’t want to miss out on whatever fun our son was having, so she decided to stay home too.

The birth of our last child was much tougher than our son’s. I’m so glad my children weren’t there for it. I went to the hospital in the morning and stayed there the whole day with nothing happening. By the afternoon, I was induced, but nothing really happened until the evening. The birth itself took six hours. I had complications; labour wasn’t progressing for a while, my daughter had her umbilical cord strangling her, and for a short while, it looked like I was going to need an emergency c section. Thankfully, I didn’t.

I think my children would not have handled the lengthy process of this. I don’t think they would’ve handled the fact that we had to move from the birthing centre to the delivery suite. The facilities in the delivery suite were dreadful for children, and I was having severe anxiety about being there myself, due to a bad experience last time I gave birth there (with my first child).

Do I believe all children should witness childbirth? No. I don’t believe children should ever be forced to be present at a birth against their wishes. I believe sometimes it happens by accident, and I’d imagine parents would have to deal with any repercussions afterward. Do I believe that parents who choose to allow their children at a birth are immoral? Of course not!

The only advice I’d give to anyone thinking of this (who actually wants advice, of course!), is to think about your potential for complications. Think about your child’s personality. If you’re planning this, prepare them, arm them with knowledge. Make sure you talk to them after the birth. Also, as a mother, ask yourself how it will affect you. If you think it’d be too distracting, that’s important to consider. My daughter at one stage when I was on all fours in agony, asked me for more raisin toast! I said, ‘ah, I’m kind of busy right now, babe…’ thankfully, my partner stepped in and got it for her! Because it was an easier birth, these distractions were, well, distracting, but not a problem for me at all. If any of my kids had distracted me during my last birth, they may have gotten their heads bitten off.

I asked my daughter today, now that she’s ten, how she feels about having been at the birth of her brother. She said, ‘man, that was a long time ago.’ I asked her if it was scary, gross, etc. She said, ‘it was a bit gross’. I asked her if she wishes she hadn’t gone to it, or if she’s glad. She told me she’s glad she went. I asked her how she feels about giving birth one day herself. She shrugged and said, ‘I really don’t know. I don’t think about it.’

Of course, now I’d like to hear from others. Have you ever allowed your child to be present at any of your births? Would you? How do you feel about it?

Other reading:

Regressive behaviour in children

Helping kids to make choices

Sibling rivalry solutions

Birth stories:

Remembering the birth of my son

She’s all grown up..

My eldest daughter is 10!

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Helping Kids to Make Choices

Written on January 21st, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Cognitive, Emotional, Experiences, January 2011, Language, Preschool aged, School aged, Social

My two year old daughter and four year old son stress me out all day long. It’s true. They’re both at the age where they are fighting for autonomy and trying to be ‘big’ and helpful. This is fine and dandy, but it can get to the stage where every little thing becomes a power struggle. All developmentally normal behaviour, but terribly draining. What kids this age are really fighting for, is just a chance be heard. To have a say, make a choice.

When was the last time someone demanded you do something, without giving you a choice? Ok, yeah yeah. If you’ve got under fives, it’s everyday, I know! Let’s be more specific. When was the last time an adult demanded something of you? How did you like it? Our kids are no different! And even though Missy 10 is obviously more emotionally mature than her siblings, it’s still important to her, too. As she journeys further through puberty, this need will become more prevalent than ever before.

What if I told you that giving your kids more choices would save you time? Result in happier, more co-operative children? Children more keen to listen to reason? When a child encounters an adult who allows them choices, they are more respectful towards that adult, and receptive to them.

But my three year old can’t handle choices, you say! Everyday, she stares into her wardrobe, pulls all the clothes out and can’t decide what she wants. The idea is to start with choices they can handle, and over time, they’ll be capable of more and more.

The green or the blue?

I don’t give my two children under five a choice out of twenty things. For example, if I’m getting them dressed, I offer two suitable outfits per child, and ask them, ‘which one would you like to wear today?’ This is a simple choice for them to make, it’s not overwhelming, and they can walk away from the experience feeling empowered and important.

Take turns at choosing

It can be challenging when you have two little ones who both want to make a choice about what they’re doing together and disagree. This is just priceless. Two kids throwing a tantrum, because they both just want what they want. Yay. If we’re having tv time, we try to make sure everyone gets a turn to choose. So, Mr 4 will yell out, ‘I want to watch Thomas!’ But the answer will be, ‘no, you chose the dvd last time, now it’s Missy 2′s turn to choose’. Yes, there is some sulking, but because the kids are used to being given turns, they accept it and know their turn will come. It’s important for kids to learn that there are others in the family too, and everyone matters. This teaches them respect for others.

It also makes it easier for them to accept if mum or dad wants to watch their own show. Yes, mums and dads matter too! Some families let their members take turns at who chooses what is for dinner each night. I want to do this, but I’m just not that organised right now! If you can do it though, go for it. It cuts out a lot of complaining about food dislikes. It guarantees that every night, at least someone will like the meal.

Let them choose parts of the daily routine

Kids under five often really get their knickers in a knot when they want to do something themselves. Missy 2 is potty training at the moment. She loves it. However, she was screaming every time she had an accident. Of course, I told her it was ok, but she kept screaming. I couldn’t make out what she was saying. We eventually deciphered that she wanted to be the one to put her undies in the laundry to be washed! This reiterates what I was talking about with tantrums caused by lack of language.

So now, Missy 2, feeling empowered by this new sense of autonomy, insists on always putting her undies in the laundry and walking with me to get a clean pair. As we walk back, she’ll say, ‘come on, Mummy!’ It’s very cute, but she really feels she’s the boss of that moment. I don’t give my kids full reign over all of our routines, but if their days are punctuated by moments like this, it makes their days more joyful. I think it’s nice when everyone in the family gets some say in the daily routine of the household.

All of our kids have created their own bed time rituals too. We still have some shockers of nights. Tonight was a good example of one of those, but I think that had more to do with the fact that all three knew I was planning to write this post! We let the kids choose what they’d like to take to bed, what song they’d like us to sing, etc. They all have different needs.

Missy 2′s are simple. I want to go to bed. She likes picking a flower to take to bed, but at the moment the flower bushes are too bare! But she likes to go to bed, where her pretty flower sheets and butterfly curtains are, that her mum made. She usually picks out a few toys to snuggle with.

Mr 4 needs comforting, as he’s at the age of nightmares, and an overactive imagination. So, as a result, his routine has evolved into a quiet cuddle and a chat about anything that’s worrying him. He’s also been a bit more clingy, because his dad’s been in and out of hospital over the years and will be going back again soon.

Missy 10 likes to read before bed. We mostly let her, unless it’s getting too late. She likes to fill up her water bottle to take to her room, clear her toys off her bed, and she has her bed toys and blankets set up a certain way. She always asks if the puppies can come in to ‘say goodnight’, and if they’re agreeable, we allow it. Sometimes they end up falling asleep snuggling her!

More rope as they get older

As Missy 10 embarks on adolescence, she approaches a time where kids have a biological need to break away from their parents. It’s at this stage, they are subconsciously preparing for adulthood, the big, bad world. As terrifying as this is for us parents, it’s important to not suddenly revoke all choices from them in fear! Can you imagine the rebellion?

I’m finding that our daughter is happy to respect our wishes (rules), if we give her choices within that. So, she can choose the movie we go to see, sometimes, but it has to be something we feel is appropriate. We also try to help her understand the reasoning behind it. Usually, it’s along the lines of, ‘that one’s a bit too adult sweety, but in a couple of years, you’ll love it!’, ‘this one is pretty scary’, or ‘that one’s a bit too rude for kids your age’. We all agree that these are good reasons, so it works out. Because she’s been told she’s getting closer to being able to watch more mature things soon, it’s given her something to look forward to.

It’ll be interesting to see how this all pans out once she’s a teen, huh?

What choices have your kids been making lately?

Other reading:

Emotional development – initiative

How do I stop tantrums?

Sibling rivalry solutions

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – will you let your child see the movie?

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Knitting Project For Children – Finger Puppets

Written on January 16th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Cognitive, Craft, Experiences, Fine motor, Good times, Handmade, January 2011, Projects, Saving money, School aged

Remember yesterday, when I mentioned Missy 10 was knitting something special to her? Well, here’s the end result! (Well, part of it, actually. She still wants to glue a felt shell and tail onto the back) In case you can’t make out what this is, it’s a finger puppet of a Pokemon character named Squirtle. Yes, she’s obsessed with Pokemon…

She knitted this up in 8 ply acrylic yarn, on 4mm knitting needles. She started off with ten stitches, and just worked a rectangle until it was the length to fit her finger. She ran a needle through the stitches on the needle, then gathered them. She learned that this is how fingers on gloves are often finished off. I showed her how to fold the rectangle in half and sew the seam. Next time, it’ll be her turn to attempt it. Then, to customise her character, she made up some felt shapes, drew some detail onto them then glued them onto the puppet with craft glue. It was very simple, but she thrived on the creative process; deciding what she wanted the puppet to become, designing the features, and fiddling around putting them on.

I also gave her a fabric marker pen to work with before she cut the felt shapes out. This lets her erase what she felt were mistakes, with a wet cloth. I also taught her not to use hot water to do this, as this can set the ink into a stain. The great thing about fabric markers is that the ink on the fabric eventually becomes invisible anyway. It lets the work turn out a lot less grubby-looking than drawing on the fabric with a lead pencil.

I also looked through my own knitting stash, and have put together small stash to start her out with. Some balls of acrylic yarns, a knitting needle measuring gadget (great if you have a pair of needles where the size has worn off, but the needles themselves still work well), tape measure and some knitting needles. All of these things I already had, and either wasn’t planning on using or I already had duplicates of certain items. She was psyched!

We’ve decided to make our knitting together a one hour a day (minimum!) date. It’s nice to knit with someone who shares your interest, and both of us can’t stop chatting excitedly about all our ideas, and about knitting in general. We talk about what high school would be like, events in the past and her feelings on them, her friends, pretty much whatever she wants! Also, as my stress as a carer has really heated up lately, my carer support counselor has been driving home to me the urgent need for me to ensure I give myself self-care, or as it’s more widely known, me time.

I know me time should probably not be spent with my offspring, but if it makes me happy and relaxed, then honestly, why not? I’m very blessed to have the sort of child that even when I need down time, I choose to spend it with her.

She’s interested in making a scarf, next. She’s also looking forward to playing with her new puppet once the glues dries, and decorating her room with it. It’s also something fun we can make for Missy 2 and Mr 4. They love imaginative play, so these will be excellent homemade toys to nurture that.

Can you think of other handmade toys your school-child or you can make?

Other reading:
Teaching kids to knit: school holiday fun

Science experiments for school aged kids

Crochet for children

Book review: Zombie felties

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Teach Your Child Knitting

Written on January 16th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Cognitive, Craft, Fine motor, Good times, Handmade, January 2011, Projects, School aged

In Australia, we’re in the last weeks of the Summer holidays. It’s been fun, but now everyone’s getting a bit tetchy. Few of us have unlimited funds to do ridiculously exciting outings everyday, but it’s becoming clear before the kids get on each others’ (and our!) nerves, that they need something to do.

This is I why I think it’s great to teach school-aged kids how to knit. Missy 10 already knew the basics of it, but because she’s usually so busy with school, doesn’t get enough time to practice. What better time to have a go, than during school holidays? Our kids have hours and hours of time on their hands, and whilst it’s a great time to play and relax, sometimes kids don’t know what to do with so much spare time.

Knitting is also really cheap to get started with. Sure, you can spend a lot of money on beautiful wools down the track, but for beginners, cheap is best anyway. And to be honest, for the amount of time spent concentrating and being quiet (oh yes, I went there!) I’d say it’s a damn solid investment.

Even for my own knitting, I like to be relatively frugal. I use knitting needles that have either been handed down to me, and if I don’t have a certain size, nine times out of ten I can source them at the op shop or ebay for a dollar or two. I prefer old knitting needles anyway; to me they feel like there is magic in them. I can picture the ladies before me working on their projects, and feel as though I’m extending the continuum. Any money I save here allows me to buy high quality wools and yarns. I believe once you’re an established knitter, you deserve only the best materials.

I also have been able to to source many patterns for free on the internet, or for a couple of dollars. Ravelry and Knitty are my two favourite resources for knitting. There are also some great, easy knitting patterns for kids online. When I was nine, I became obsessed with knitting! I started out by reading beginners’ knitting books, and doing the projects in there. Basically, once your child can knit, there’s no reason for them not to start out on any beginner pattern that catches their eye. I also used to enjoy designing and knitting clothes for my toys.

Another great thing kids can do once they’ve mastered the basics of knitting is to attempt sampler squares of different patterns, such as stockinette stitch, moss stitch and ribbing. If your child enjoys the mastery of a computer game, there’s a fair chance they’ll get a kick out of a challenge like this too!

Ok, so knitting is cheap and enjoyable for kids. What are some of the direct benefits for the child?

- Knitting builds fine motor strength

- It challenges their eye-hand co-ordination

- It gives them great spatial awareness

- It is a great cognitive (intellect) building activity

- It encourages children to think in mathematical terms. Don’t believe me? Try knitting a pattern from a graph, or attempting a sampler pattern!

- Knitting is a great way for children to explore a new material. They learn about how fabrics can be made, the way they interlock together. They learn about how different sized needles, and different wool/yarn thicknesses affect the work they’re doing. They learn by working with the yarn and feeling it for long periods, the different properties of different fibres. For example, working with mohair is an entirely different experience to working with pure wool. Cotton doesn’t stretch very much, acrylic yarns don’t stay nice for very long, and so on.

- Knitting gives children a challenge and a purpose.

- Knitting gives children with a taste for fashion an outlet to channel it towards.

- It encourages children to have patience, and to work towards a goal.

- It keeps them quiet for hours!

So, how does one start out teaching their child to knit? I like to grab some 8 ply acrylic yarn (I usually can’t stand this stuff, but it’s perfect for learning on), and the needles in the size that complements the yarn (check the label for suggestions). I make sure I do it when I have a lot of time. Knitting with a child is a bonding experience, and not something to be rushed. It should be pleasurable.

It’s best at the first learning attempt for the grown-up to cast on the stitches and work one or two rows. This enables the work some more elasticity, which in turn makes the learning process less awkward. My Gram taught me to knit, by teaching me to recite as I worked, ‘in, round, under, off’ throughout the process of knitting one stitch. When you’re teaching a child to knit, a lot of this is repetition based, and takes a lot of practise. I’ve found it helped if I worked on a garter stitch sampler at the same time, (when my daughter was just starting out) so my daughter can look over my shoulder and see the ‘flow’ of the process.

As your child becomes more used to working with the needles and yarn, they’ll develop a comfortable habit in how they hold both. They will get their own little flow going! Knitting is a great confidence builder, too. What I love about it, is that a child can follow a pattern to learn the skill, or to make a certain, wanted project, or they can create something entirely original, if that is their wish. It can be as structured or open-ended as they choose! My motto with knitting is, build the skills first, then you can create anything later.

My daughter is really keen to learn more about knitting now, so we’ll be building up a cheap but nice stash for her. She’s really excited about this! You’ll be able to find out in a few days, what exactly it is she’s knitting!

If you don’t or can’t knit, why not consider asking a relative or friend who can, to teach your child? Do you or any of your children knit? Why not start with your child these holidays?

Other reading:

Knitting project for children – finger puppets

Crochet for children

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Child art- ball painting

Written on October 30th, 2010 by Hear Mum Roar in Art, Cognitive, Fine motor, Messy play, October 2010, Preschool aged, School aged, Toddler

If you have a child who loves to paint, but is looking for something a bit different to simply using a paintbrush, they will love this. It’s the weekend here, and Missy 2 was once again begging to paint. Missy 10′s been away at school when the little ones have been painting, so it was nice for her to get the chance to join in.

So, how did we paint with balls? I got a big plastic box, and Blu-tacked some paper to the bottom of the inside.

I sat each ball in a different bowl or container for separate colours. Then, the kids just picked up a slippery ball, dropped it onto their paper, and moved the box to make the balls roll.

Kids have so much fun with this activity and learn a lot without realising it. They get to:

- work their fine motor muscles, trying extra hard to pick up those slippery balls
- experiment with gravity and physics, tipping the box this way and that to make the ball go where they want it to on the page
- challenge their eye-hand co-ordination in a more intense way than usual. It’s one thing to try to watch something, and get your hands to work together with your vision, but imagine trying to do that when the ball has a mind of its own!
- learn about colours mixing together, as one coloured ball rolls over previous stripes painted by other colours.
- apply trial and error to see what happens if they use smaller balls, such as marbles (for the over 3′s, of course we have to be vigilant about choking risks), tennis balls, or even basketballs.
- learn about cause and effect: what happens if we use a four-sided container? What about a round container? The child will observe one is more likely to give stripes and criss-crossing lines, the other will give more rounded, spiral shapes.

One thing I’ve never gotten around to trying though, when doing this activity is painting with a football! If anyone’s child ever gives that go, let me know how it went.

Other reading:

Mesh-dab prints

Rainbow art

Canvas painting for kids

Flowers are red

Art for children who hate mess

String painting

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Science experiments for school aged kids

Written on October 16th, 2010 by Hear Mum Roar in Cognitive, Fine motor, Good times, Language, October 2010, School aged

Missy 10 had some extra pocket money to spend as a result of her recent birthday. She bought herself an Eco Forensic Lab. (This isn’t a sponsored post, nor a review, I’m just really impressed with what she bought!)

This needed adult supervision, so her Dad helped her with this.

The kit provided her with protective gear, because some of the chemicals were dangerous! She was handling lime water, which went smokey, and calcium hydroxide powder. As you can see, this is very fiddly work! Great for those fine motor skills. Here she is cutting up litmus paper, and trying very hard not to touch it.

She had a ball, testing soil and water in our yard for richness, organic matter and now she has to wait a few days for it to dry out. After this, she’ll be analysing it for chemicals. She is devastated that she has to wait!

Other things she’ll be able to test for are mini beasts in our water and soil, humidity in our air, and so many more cool things. I must say, it’s leaving me feeling very dumb… But I can see that this is an excellent activity for school aged kids, and my fiance and Missy 10 were out in the studio for hours, having a ball, working together.

I would highly recommend this kit if you have a bored school-aged kid, especially if it were school holidays! Have your kids tried any fun kits lately that you’d recommend? My man is dying to get Missy 10 an electronics kit, but she’s not convinced it’d be any fun just yet.

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Totem tennis

Written on October 12th, 2010 by Hear Mum Roar in Good times, Gross motor, October 2010, Preschool aged, School aged, Social

It’s getting to be warmer weather here, thankfully now, our yard has dried up somewhat after all our flooding. We couldn’t let the kids play out in the backyard due to sewerage all over the place. Ewww… That’s why you’ve been seeing so many activities being done out the front instead.

Mr 4 had seen an ad for a totem tennis set on tv and begged us to get it. We told him we would one day, but he’d have to wait. Then my fiance, when out shopping, found it and decided to surprise him.

Totem tennis is great for school-aged children and preschool aged kids. It’s a pity Missy 10 was at school this time, or I could’ve shown you all the funny faces she pulls when she’s concentrating!

Totem tennis is an excellent gross motor activity, and also encourages eye-hand co-ordination (this is really important to us, considering that all of our children have problems with this due to their eyesight). Totem tennis encourages social play: taking turns, sharing, and showing consideration for one another by trying not to hit each other with the ball.

It’s fantastic for those times when one of the kids is feeling angry, as we can redirect that anger into the racket and ball, rather than on each other. I’d rather my kids smash the bejesus out of a ball than scream at or hit someone else.

I must also say, that our kids love watching Mum and Dad having a whack at totem tennis together! We make quite a spectacle, what with our grunting and groaning… Lots of fun for all involved.
When was the last time you played totem tennis?

Come play at the Childhood 101 We Play link up

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Flower play

Written on October 10th, 2010 by Hear Mum Roar in Cognitive, Fine motor, Language, October 2010, School aged, Social, Toddler

I was outside picking more lavender for drying, only to discover that the daisies growing next to the lavender were growing out of control. It seemed such a waste to just leave them there, so I picked lots of daisies and brought them inside to put in vases, and do some fun things with the kids.

Missy 10 was keen to try my idea of giving the daisies a coloured water ‘drink’. We recycled the water from the spray paint we made, as you can see in the photo above.

Missy 2 saw the goings-on, and wanted to imitate what we were doing. So, I found a disposable plastic cup from Missy 10′s birthday party and taped it to the table. I then gave her a glut of daisies to put into the cup, then take them out, then put them in. Much like posting. She was in heaven and this kept her busy for at least an hour.