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Activities for children

Preschoolers’ Constructive Play

Written on October 9th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Cognitive, Constructive, Fine motor, Preschool aged

These sunflower blocks have become something of a sanity saver for our little family.

I found these at Ebay for a very reasonable price. They’re quite small, so I’d probably avoid offering them to the under three’s. They’re made from a slightly flexible plastic.

Missy 3 is obsessed with making loads of flowers with these, then carries them around the house, proudly showing everyone her colourful creations.

These blocks encourage:

- fine motor skills and strength

- eye/hand coordination

- problem solving skills

- mental planning

- maths

- spatial awareness

- learn about colours

- and my favourite: play quietly!!

These blocks keep my kids quiet for such a long time that I often whip them out when I’m cleaning the house.

Here’s how we set up this activity so the kids can get the most fun out of it:

- we have a clearly defined area for constructive play, such as a blanket on the floor, or a little table. We encourage the kids to keep the blocks in this space. It’s not as restrictive as it may sound, and if anything, gives them the freedom to find the blocks when they come back, rather than scattered all over the house.

- we have a special container put aside to store the blocks in and encourage the kids to pack them up when finished.

Setting up the activity in this way allows them to really concentrate for quite a while.

What constructive toys have your preschoolers been playing with lately?

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Pinterest For Tight Wads

Written on October 9th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Language, Saving money, School aged

Are you addicted to Pinterest yet? I am! So when I saw Tina Gray has a Pinterest blog link-up, I jumped at the chance to share my Pinterest offerings with you.

Recently, Missy 10 became Missy 11! (Her party will be in a few weeks’ time, so I’ll post all about it then) Anyway… Her favourite birthday present was her new Kindle. For those of you not familiar, a Kindle is an ebook reader that fits something like 3,500 books into it. The screen is anti-glare, so it’s just as easy on your eyes as a paper book. We’ve been blown away by how cheap the ebook versions of her favourite books are; most are around $2-$8! Our daughter loves to read a lot, and tends to go through a lot of books in a short space of time.

What I’m really loving though, being such a tight-arse and all, is all the free ebooks you can get for the Kindle. So today, for ‘Ooh.. That’s Pinteresting’, I’m sharing with you my new Pinterest board about free Kindle ebooks that are suited to school-aged children.

A lot of the free ebooks for kids are the classics that a lot of us grew up with as kids ourselves: Treasure Island, The Jungle Book and my personal favourite, Heidi.

We’re pretty much Kindle mad here at the moment. My daughter’s Kindle was $156 at Woolies (Australia). I’ve since heard that there is a new Kindle Fire reader for $199 (in colour) and another one for $79. I’m planning to get a Kindle of some sort before uni starts as I think it’d make my readings a lot simpler to organise.

Do you have a Kindle, or are you thinking of getting one? What are your thoughts on them?

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Board Games

Written on September 27th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Art, Cognitive, Good times, Handmade, Language, Preschool aged, Saving money, School aged, Social

One thing I love about Missy 10 belonging to such a small school (50 kids total!) is that they have time to do such cool things. Sure, at the end of term, they had the usual watching of DVDs, which I don’t mind. But they also had the kids make their own board games.

I’m happy, because I was going to eventually post about this idea myself, now the school has saved me the hassle. Although this is loads of fun for kids, there’s many benefits to be had without them even realising:

Having kids make their own board games let them:

- Make choices and design something, giving them a feeling of autonomy and creativity

- Have an opportunity to problem-solve and mentally plan something in advance.

- Have a maths experience that is more fun than usual. It also doesn’t feel like maths!

- Be sociable, take turns, share, cooperate and be a good sport.

- Use their own imagination.

- Have ‘something to do’ during school holidays; not only as they play the game, but during the creation of it.

- do something fun that is cheap and resourceful.

The name of this game is an insect themed version of snakes and ladders. Missy 10 has added instructions on how to play at the bottom. You can make counters out of just about anything: buttons, coins, even cut up paper or cardboard. You can use a dice you already own, make one out of a box or create a spinning dial. Anything extra that needs to be made just means your kids will be busy for longer.

Of course, you have to be careful if you have under 3′s in the home, due to the small parts in the game. I’m loving that my youngest child is now three, because all three kids are at the perfect age to get pleasure, educational benefits and social skills out of it. Most importantly, they’re all interested!

Missy 10 plans to make more of these over the holidays. I will post her different versions of the games over at Hear Mum Roar’s facebook page, if you’d like to see them. If you have any board games your kids have made, I’d love to see photos of them too, so please upload them to the ‘school holidays’ album so we can all be inspired!

What are your kids doing these holidays? Are you over it yet, or still enjoying the break?

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Advertisers’ Review

Written on July 15th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Cognitive, Gross motor, Music, Organisation, Preschool aged, Reviews, Saving money, School aged, Toddler

I’ve been lucky enough to have awesome advertisers at Hear Mum Roar. I always choose companies that sell products I would actually buy and use myself. If you only saw some of the rubbish I’m asked to advertise and actually knock back.. Anyway, some of my advertisers have been lovely enough to send out some samples of their wares, so I felt it was time to shine the spotlight upon them.

Little Dance Invitations are a fantastic place to go for everything party related. They have the cutest themes for kids, ranging from tv characters, to cute little Kokeshi Doll lollipops and everything else that interests children. They also do invitations and party supplies for adult parties. What I also love about this online store is that they can customise party goods with the birthday person’s photo.Next time we have a birthday party, I’ll be definitely going through Little Dance.

Bright Star Kids sell cute kids labels, wall stickers, bag tags, and all sorts of other cool stuff. I recently was sent some small name labels for all of my three kids…

I’ve blocked out parts of their names privacy reasons, but I left part of the lettering there so you can see the different fonts used. Missy 3 loves the fairy on her labels and always tells me it’s going to fly away! So cute.. I also love that if I put a name label on anything of hers, she’ll drink it, for example, water. She wasn’t keen on water for a while, but now she has a label on her water bottle, she’s drinking lots of water and is much healthier for it.

I’m also pleased to find these labels as Mr 5 is starting school next year, and it’ll be much easier with two kids at school if I can be prepared with labels now. It’s helping to build the excitement in him, also.

Forever Clover sells a new range of school-aged girls’ swap cards.

When I first saw these, I fell in love with them instantly! These cards were created as an antidote to the sexualisation of girls in our society. Your daughter can join the free Forever Clover Club online. Missy 10 has joined and loves it! You can read their Forever Clover girls’ blog with stories of their adventures. If your daughter is a member of the club, she can even comment!

The cards and packaging are made from renewable resources and starting a collection is very wallet-friendly, so anyone can start collecting and swapping! All three of my kids have been given some, and they absolutely love them.

KelliOne is the home of handmade toys. Simple concepts that kids will love and very cute too! Kelli was kind enough to send out three ribbon wands for the kids to play with.

Here, you can see Mr 5 happily fishing with his. This is a brilliant, open-ended toy for toddlers, preschoolers and school aged kids alike. They can get exercise as they twirl around in or outdoors, dance to music, draw shapes in the air, pretend they’re walking a dog on a leash, in short, they can do whatever they can imagine! KelliOne also can make these wands for weddings, and I’m thinking when we get married one of these days, I’ll order some for the guests! I can imagine how beautiful the wedding photos would be with ribbons swirls from happy guests, in our custom colours.

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about these companies. They all have such great stuff and are lovely people to deal with.

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Angry Kids Learn by Repetition

Written on July 6th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Challenges, Emotional, Parenting, Social

This installment in my anger in children series has taken a while to write, but here we are at last! I began that series before my infamous blog crash, and am slowly catching up on things around here.

One thing that’s clear about teaching our children how to express their anger appropriately, is that they don’t just start behaving perfectly after one outburst, one chat or one consequence. Children learn best via repetition, especially when it relates to behaviour.

Children need the rules repeated many times

Children have so many things they are learning at any given time, and for the under fives, they will not be able to remember all the boundaries you’ve set for appropriate ways to express anger. They will need to to have the rules/expectations/alternative responses repeated to them many times in order for them to be able to take them on board and put them into action.

The rules will feel foreign to them at first. It feels so natural for a child to hit back at a child who has hit them, and really, what we’re asking of them goes against the grain for little kids. It’s important to stick with it and don’t panic or give up if it feels as though your child is thumbing their nose at what you’re saying.

I remember when my eldest daughter was four and having some explosive anger outbursts! I found myself wondering where I’d gone wrong, panicking that what I was doing wasn’t working and basically second guessing my approach. Should I try something different? Is she ever going to actually learn? I’ll tell you, kids may act as though they’re refusing to listen to you, but deep inside, they are! It didn’t take long for her to learn what was expected of her, and now we rarely have a problem with her reacting inappropriately.

Likewise, with my son who was four when I began writing this series and is now five, he is getting it! Yet I went through a stage where I felt as though he never would! We need to have some faith in ourselves, faith in our children and some good old fashioned persistence.

It takes time for kids to become aware of the reactions of others to their anger

When children are younger, they’re more egocentric. The main concern is for how they feel. As they mature and grow, they become increasingly aware of the feelings of others. They become more concerned about others too. The more we talk to our kids about how anger works and how it should be expressed, the more children begin to notice how others feel when they get angry.

My son, over time, soon came to expect others to cry if he hurt them, or become equally angry in return. He soon learnt that if he didn’t hurt others or break their property, he was still ‘allowed’ to feel angry and would even be praised for expressing it in a healthy way! Once he experienced this a few times, he felt much more safe in his anger, and it seemed that it had less of an over powering ‘hold’ over him. Children can become quite frightened of their own anger, as if it almost takes over them and makes them feel as though they’re losing control.

The best gift we can give our kids is the security of feeling as though they have control over their feelings, and not the other way around. They can feel angry and still believe they’re a good person, both during and after the feeling. This is far better for a child’s self esteem than knowing they’re taking their anger to a harmful level and feeling as though they are ‘bad’ because of it.

It takes time for kids to observe others getting angry

Once children have an idea about the rules and expectations they are to follow when they’re angry, you will notice them watching how others, young and old, deal with their anger. My son notices his younger sister getting angry and throwing things. He flinches, and cries if he gets hurt. He sees how it feels. He sees that there are consequences for her, too.

He sees his older sister get angry. He sees her try to talk about it, or go off somewhere by herself to cool down. He sees that there are only positive outcomes when she does this. My son sees my partner and I get angry. We try to model healthy ways to express it, and if we fall short, he sees that we apologise and realises everyone is held accountable to the same expectations.

Now my son is aware of what is a reasonable way to express anger and what is not, he is keenly aware of everyone else’s behaviour when we’re out in public, or even in books or on tv. I can see that in his mind, he’s measuring it all up against the rules that have been set before him.

My son can now see, after repeated experience, how unpleasant harmful explosions of anger can be, and how easy healthy anger release can be. That anger isn’t something that has to be feared. Everyone gets angry, and it’s a part of life, and it’s perfectly acceptable. I think when children start out expressing their anger in a harmful way, they feel as though they’re in trouble for being angry in the first place! They don’t realise that it’s simply the way they’re reacting to their anger that is causing the problem.

It’s the repeated experience, over and over again, that teaches them what to do.

It takes time for children to form their own strategies and test them

As I’ve mentioned before, my son enjoyed pillow fights most of all as a way to release his anger without harming others. Over time, he’s become confident to control his anger enough to stop and tell me what he is angry about. He’s also taught himself to count to ten before reacting.

I’ve heard many people suggest the ‘count to ten’ method. I’ve never bothered to suggest it to my kids, because I don’t use it myself, and could never see the point. Yet this was an idea my son came up with on his own, and it works better for him than any other technique. I also notice that as he’s counting quietly to himself, he’s breathing deeply too! It comes down to what I said earlier: having faith in your child’s abilities.

The more my son tests different techniques, the more he’s working out which ones help him, and which ones he’d prefer not to use. With repetition, it has become a habit, something he can do now with less thought. He’s now empowered. Hell, so am I! Well… not really. You see, now Missy 3 is picking up where he left off, and I’ll be starting all these teachings again from scratch! Oh well, never a dull moment, I guess.

I liken teaching kids about healthy anger management to learning to put a new puzzle together. You start out not knowing how to do it, and it’s a slow process to put the whole picture together. Then, eventually, you come up with strategies (for example, starting with the straight-edged pieces) to work through the challenge. You find when you attempt the puzzle a second time it’s a little easier, and if you’ve completed it twenty times, you can do it on auto-pilot.

This is where the repetition of anger management techniques come into play for kids; consistently let them know your expectations, give them healthy strategies and let them practice them over and over again. Eventually, they will ‘get’ it.

Which stage are you at with your kids at the moment? Are they at the stage where it’s not out of hand yet, or just starting to explode? Or are they at the stage where they can get it out healthily?

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How Can Mums Get the Exercise They Need?

Written on May 5th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Challenges, Good times, Gross motor, Health and beauty, May 2011, Parenting, Saving money, School aged, Teens

I’ve been a lover of exercise since my late teens. Not the crappy PE-type exercise we did at school, or team sports. I’m more interested in workouts such as walking, using weights, aerobics and yoga. I’ve tried pilates in the past and enjoyed it, but I haven’t really gotten into it in a big way as yet.

When we lived in Sydney, we had *horrors* no car. We were in a fairly toffee-nosed suburb, and I would be walking to and from school, half an hour each way, twice a day. (Thankfully, I had some wonderful mum friends who’d offered to help me with lifts when I needed it) When my youngest started kindergarten (first year of ‘big’ school in NSW), I sported a pregnant belly. When my son was born, I’d be out pushing the pram, and very soon after, another pregnant belly. Then, I graduated to a double limosine-style pram, and I can tell you honestly, that put me through my paces. Once my fiance got sick and wasn’t working, I would leave the younger two kids with him as I took my eldest child to school, which made it faster, plus reduced the strain on my back, not having to push that heavy thing around so often.

There were only two types of responses I’d get from the other mums: horror (‘I couldn’t survive without a car!!’ Not really what one wants to hear when they’re trying to be stoic) and encouragement. I’m sure you can imagine which group I made a higher number of friends in! Although this regime was a little too extreme for my joints most of the time, I never had to watch my weight. I ate pretty much what I wanted. It was only once I stopped pushing that heavy pram that my metabolism slowed down a little. Once we got a new car a few months before we moved here, man, I got fat fast.

In some ways, I don’t regret taking such a drastic break from exercise for so long. I have a horrible hip injury from giving birth to my eldest daughter, and I find that an hour a day of exercise is perfect to stop it from jamming up. More than that just aggravates it. After so many years of walking two hours per day, five days a week, either pregnant and/or pushing prams, my body honestly needed the rest. I enjoy walking long distances, but the amount I was doing became a bit of a drag.

Since we’ve moved to a remote country town and need to drive to most places, my exercise slipped even more. You guessed it, I kept gaining weight. My hip started getting stuck and sore again. I’m only 5’1, and small-boned, so the slightest weight gain really puts a strain on my joints.

It’s funny; a year ago I wrote this post, about wanting to get into a new exercise routine. I dabbled in walking, but found it not so inspiring. A walk around the block in this town doesn’t take long at all, then once I’ve done that, I don’t know where to walk next! There are no hills, which I’m used to, and everything’s completely flat. I find it hard to raise a sweat at all, walking around the block. Having grown up as a child in a beach town, and now living further inland than I ever have before, has made me homesick for a good ocean walk. I found a walk I enjoyed, walking in the outskirts of town, and I loved it. No oceans of course, but lots of beautiful farms to look at, and dams with ducks swimming in them. Canola fields and sheep.

Being a new habit and a new town, I didn’t get to go walking as often as I would’ve liked. There was also my partner’s anxiety to consider. I couldn’t/can’t just up and leave the house or the kids with him whenever I feel like it. I’m needed here. It’s far too hot in summer for the farm walk, not to mention snaky.

Recently, my partner and I had a group meeting with his and my support workers about his situation. It became rapidly apparent that I had a need for relaxation, and fast! I suggested yoga, and suggestions of classes flew in, thick and fast. Being in a remote area, this would be costly for us in terms of petrol in addition to the cost of the actual class. I was pretty sure the class timetable wouldn’t fit into our schedule and I knew my chances at actually being able to do my yoga was heavily dependent on what sort of day my partner was having.

So, out of a need to bring some relaxation techniques into my life, I’ve stumbled into creating a fully-fledged work out area. We have an office attached to our shop, in which we had stored a tv and coffee table gathering dust until we found a spot for them. We went to Big W and purchased a simple book on yoga with a DVD yoga session attached for roughly $11.

The result evolved into this:

It’s nothing fancy, but hugely practical. I had a floor mat handy, so I used that to define the space (these were moved to the shop), and pad the concrete floor for extra comfort. (As you can see, the tv is quite grotty, but I took this photo soon after setting it up and cleaned up the area soon after)

I had a bunch of exercise dvds and equipment I hadn’t been using. I tried using them in the lounge room, but it was too disruptive with children so close by. Even if I waited until their bedtime, the two younger ones would be too distracted by what I was doing to sleep! So although this area started out solely for yoga, it’s opened up the opportunity to solve my exercise problem also. I can go to this area by myself when I know it suits my partner and do what needs to be done.

Once I started getting back into exercise, I realised how much I’d missed this! The stress release, the adrenaline, the feeling of accomplishment. I’ve had a little break from working out for the past few weeks as I’ve had the flu, but I honestly can’t wait to get back in there.

I know some mums who read this will be thinking, ‘that’s all well and good, but she has a separate shop, not everyone has that!’ and this is true. Trust me, I can relate, having moved from a cramped two-bedroom cottage housing five of us. I also know how it feels to get stuck in a fitness rut, completely willing to exercise, but finding it hard to make it actually happen, due to being a mum.

Here’s some tips I think might be helpful for mums who are truly finding it a challenge to get that much-needed workout time in:

Wear a pedometer during the day and work towards a step-count goal. Incidental exercise is recognised nowadays as being just as effective as time set aside to work out. It’s a good way to ease back into being more active. I did this a few times when we first moved here, and it encouraged me to do a little more, and planted the idea of looking for places to walk. (Admittedly, I was disappointed with the offerings, but just because it didn’t work for me this time, doesn’t mean it wouldn’t for others)

Look at your obstacles to exercise and try to find creative ways to make it happen. If you can see a chunk of time in your day where your kids can be looked after by someone else, make the most of that time. If gyms and classes don’t suit you due to money or clashing timetables, don’t let that be your reason to give up. If you are able to exercise with your kids and are happy to, then that’s great too. I personally prefer to exercise on my own at the moment, because I find the alone time is better for my stress levels.

Think about what you’ve got that could help you. Do you have an exercise bike or dumbells gathering dust? Don’t be put off using them just because you may not have been up until now. Maybe you just need to find a more suitable time/place to use them. Where would be the best place for you to exercise without disruption? What time would that be?

Ask for support. If you have a partner, ask them to help you make this happen. You might need them to look after the kids, or help move your family schedule around a little to ensure you get this time. Although my partner has severe mental illness and needs my help with a lot of things, there are still times in the day when he’s capable of spending time with the kids whilst I disappear to exercise.If you’re a single parent, can you get anyone to help you with the kids? If not, can you make walking to school with the kids your exercise? If your kids are older, you can ask them to respect this time of yours, and to avoid distracting you unless it’s urgent.

Where suitable, get the kids involved. It’s really dangerous to have little kids hanging around your treadmill, but there’s lots of ways kids can be involved. If you have a wii fit, you can play that together for some family fun, or run around together at the park or in your backyard. Sometimes Missy 10 will have a go of my yoga dvd. She loves the relaxation it brings, and I think it’s great that she finds a stress release right before the teen years. It’s also her NAPLAN year again, and usually she gets a little stressed about it. As mentioned, you can also walk together. I’m going to mention bike riding here too, because although I hate bikes with a passion, I know lots of family do this, enjoy it and it works for them.

Talk to other mums and find out what works for them. Often brainstorming and sharing ideas can lead to inspiration, especially if it’s a recommendation for a great gym or walking route. Also, let’s talk to each other here, share our ideas and see if we can add more solutions to this list.

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Influential sex-talk without the “blah, blah, blah…”

Written on May 1st, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Behaviour, Care, Challenges, Emotional, May 2011, Parenting, Relationships, Social, Teens

This is a guest post from Liz Walker on an important topic for parents of teens, or even tweens.

Despite loud protests of “I’m going to do things better!” how are we fairing? Often the awkward moments with our parents discussing sex (or not discussing it at all) come rushing back to haunt us. The fears of “What does my child already know?”, “What if I tell them too much!” and “How can I keep the lines of communication open?” seem to churn through our mind like a washing machine spinning out of balance. As parents, the last thing we want to ponder is “how did our kids go from ‘cute and innocent’ to ‘got-it-all-together expert’ overnight?”

The difference between when we were kids and now is not too hard to see, however many of us have become desensitised to what has actually happened over the last 40 years. The web has completely rebooted the world. For instance, ‘Amazon’ has changed the way we shop; ‘EBay’ has changed the way we sell; ‘Google’ has changed the way we find information; ‘YouTube’ has changed the way we share experiences; ‘blogging’ has changed the way we share our thoughts and ‘Facebook’ has changed the way we relate to each other. Technology has shifted culture.

Gen X (parents of teens) were introduced to and wowed by technology… Gen Y has experienced and expect exponential advance… Gen Z (our kids) believe technology just ‘is’. Gen Z have never known life without the vast array of superefficient, ever advancing, ‘simple to use’ and ‘couldn’t live without’ technology. A great deal of technology is incredibly beneficial; however there are some pitfalls we need to be aware of when raising healthy teens to make smart choices about sex.

In dealing with the downside of media and technology, ask yourself a couple of questions. What messages has your child picked up about their worth? When they watch music clips, what are they being told about how they dress? When they hear another report on the news about rape, what message are they receiving about the value placed on another human being? When they see advertisements with men and women presented as sex symbols, how can parents effectively tell them about the beautiful gift of sexuality and intimacy?

These are messages no one can escape, so use them as learning points with your kids. Recently my youngest was watching music clips, usually listened to on her radio, but the imagery adds a whole other level of meaning. Bumping and grinding with minimal clothes is a soft porn message I don’t want her to absorb. So I asked her how it made her feel. “Uncomfortable”. This was the perfect opportunity to suggest that if it makes her feel yucky on the inside, it was up to her to switch it off. She needs to develop strategies to recognise unhealthy viewing.

The influence of pornography on Gen Z is far-reaching. If we want to raise sons and daughters who have a healthy respect for themselves, others and sexuality, we need to be discussing sex topics. The biggest concern I hear from parents is they are worried about telling their kids too much too soon. I say, take a deep breath and dive right in. It’s far better to tell them in age appropriate increments and allow them to ask questions, than have their first knowledge of sex come from an episode of the latest sitcom or a flash encounter with an adult-only site.

In a healthy safe environment, kids take in what they are ready for. If it’s too much information, just like an overdose of vitamins, they won’t absorb it. However viewing inappropriate visual images leaves a biochemical imprint on the brain, so they need a safe place to come and discuss if this occurs. It’s important you have firmly established yourself as a reliable authority on sexuality prior to teenage years, when both peers and porn culture have the potential to become the dominating voice.

Parents have more power than what they give themselves credit for. A recent survey indicated that eight out of ten teens say it would be much easier to delay sexual activity and avoid teen pregnancy if they were able to have more open, honest conversations about these topics with their parents. And six in ten teens wish they were able to talk more openly about relationships with their parents. You can preserve the emotional and physical wellbeing of your teen by talking to them about what it takes to recognize, develop, and maintain a healthy relationship.

On the flip side, if the only message teens receive about sex is from peers or media (which places no importance on intimacy or sexual wellbeing) they have the potential to engage in early sexual activity, have more sexual partners, be at greater risk for STIs and engage in other high risk behaviours such as taking drugs and binge drinking.

Use every-day opportunities for learning experiences, such as advertisements on the back of toilet doors. Ask your teen if they know the facts about chlamydia or human papilloma virus (and be sure you know the answers before you ask.) It’s imperative our young people are aware of sexually transmitted infections, contraceptive use and screening. Since the sexual revolution in the sixties, STIs have skyrocketed from 1 in 50 sexually active people contracting an STI to now 1 in 4. It turns out our youth aren’t bullet proof, with around 70% of STI cases in the 15 – 24 year old age bracket. Some of these are viral and remain for life; others are treatable with antibiotics yet can leave a young person infertile if undetected.

Talk about sex when the learning opportunity presents and give them space to ask questions. It doesn’t have to be a full on discussion. Give bite-sized pieces which leave them keen to come back for more. Flipping out over something ‘shocking’ is a sure way to close the door on further conversations, so be mindful of any personal hang-ups which may need to be addressed in order for you to be more effective.

Keep a watchful eye on any boyfriend / girlfriend break-ups and how it makes them feel. It might seem like harmless ‘puppy love’, but emotional baggage can sometimes lead to feelings of depression and worthlessness. It’s important to reassure your teen of how valuable they are as an individual and to offer support, regardless of what they are going through.

In amongst all this, aim to be the loudest voice in your teens life without being the “blah, blah, blah”. Talking about how beautiful sex can be in an intimate relationship gives them an appreciation of its value.

Despite common myths, young people don’t run out and have sex when it’s discussed in a healthy learning environment. If teens know sex holds incredible value in creating a loving and trusting bond within a committed relationship, they are more likely to wait for emotional and cognitive maturity before participating in this important life decision.

Liz Walker is an author, speaker and graduate student in Sexual Health through Sydney University. The work she does with youth include educational presentations on sexuality for both teens and parents; and training community members such as youth support workers, teachers and suitably qualified volunteers to implement GET A GRIP teenz™: a self-awareness & educational program on life, relationships and the body. Liz blogs on teen sexual health and relationships at http://girlzfreedom.wordpress.com/ and information about the GET A GRIP Youth Wellbeing Project can be found at www.getagripteenz.com

You can follow her on twitter here: http://twitter.com/GirlzFreedom

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Making Pom Poms

Written on May 1st, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Craft, Fine motor, Handmade, May 2011, Projects, Saving money, School aged

Yes, this is a pom-pom made from the french knitting kit I mentioned the other day. I’m not overly thrilled with it, because of the technique used to wind the wool on:

Having made pom poms in the past the old fashioned way (winding yarn around cardboard circles with a hole in the centre), Missy 10 and I both thought this would be much easier. It was, but we didn’t like the effect as much as how it turns out doing it the old fashioned way. There was a lot of trimming needed afterward to make it look circular, and we didn’t like how the tied-up centre turned out, either. It didn’t seem as secure. Violet Le Beaux recently made heart shaped pom poms by wrapping the yarn around something rectangular with great results, so it could be a personal preference thing. I’m determined to make some of her cute heart pom poms very soon though, I think they’d look awesome on the end of some beanie ties!

This is a great activity if you have a child who’d like to dabble in wool/yarn craft, but isnt yet confident/interested in learning to knit or crochet. It still provides yet another opportunity to work the fine motor muscles and to problem-solve. It can be pretty tricky cutting those loops of wool, so a child will have to dig deeper than using just average scissor skills! They won’t be able to cut all that yarn in one hit, and will have to learn other ways to do it, such as snipping just a little wool at a time.

Making pom poms with children also encourages them to concentrate on this task for a longer period than many other activities this generation likes to do. I think it’s good to involve children in activities which don’t necessarily provide instant gratification in a matter of minutes. As with most wool crafts, school aged children are given a chance to lengthen their attention span and to learn about patience.

When Missy 10 made her pom poms, she quickly learned that although it’s a simple project, these make great gifts. She made a toy for Sookie the cat, and we both gave some pom poms to Missy 3 to play with. She was over the moon to be able to carry them around and cuddle them. Missy 10 did attempt to decorate one pom-pom into a toy character, but unfortunately, Sookie tore it apart within seconds of its completion. In time, we’ll make more pom-poms, and show a bunch of cool things kids can make either for themselves or others.

In future, I’m thinking we’ll buy one of those plastic versions of the cardboard circles, as a compromise. It’s tedious cutting out cardboard every single time, after all.

This is the perfect weather in Australia to be snuggling up, making pom-poms. I have fond memories of making them as a child, and making funny toys out of them. What did you do with pom-poms when you were a child?

School Holiday Craft – French Knitting

Written on April 29th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in April 2011, Craft, Fine motor, Handmade, Saving money, School aged

School holidays ended this week (sob!). Missy 10 kept herself busy these holidays with plenty of craft, which she loves. A few weeks prior to the holidays, I was in Big W and found this cute kit for roughly six bucks, so I made a point of grabbing it in advance (it was in the knitting section).

These are also sometimes called a ‘knitting nancy’. We thought this one looked really cute. It also came with a bonus pom-pom maker, which I’ll write another post on shortly.

This is a simple, cheap and fun activity for school aged children. It’s more of a structured activity than a creative one, but let’s face it, school-aged kids are ready and able to learn crafting techniques at this age, and enjoying mastering them. Once mastery is gained, creativity can come into play if the child chooses. They could use the cords created for decoration, for example on knitted toys (the post I’ve linked to wasn’t decorated with french knitting, I instead used i-cords, which looks very similar to french knitting and could be used in the same way), as ties on beanies or other clothing.

Kids are attracted to this craft for the fun, but they get so much more out of it than they realise (or need to know):

- This activity is highly cognitive, as they try to remember the steps in the sequence of french knitting. Kids are challenged to use trial and error, experimentation and problem solving, just to get the little loops over the spikes! Are they pulling the yarn too tightly? Is it too loose? Your child will be encouraged to reflect on the consequences of every attempt they make to get this to work, and tweak the way they try it on each next attempt.

- Eye-hand co-ordination is challenged quite a bit, as they really need to look at what they’re doing to make their own hands match what their eyes can see!

- Because this is very fine, close work compared to preschooler craft, it helps children to become more skilled at using their hands, strengthening them at the same time.

- It’s a beautiful way for parents or grandparents to spend with the kids in their life. I don’t think this generation values this sort of interaction as much as previous generations.

So many families are obsessed with filling each day up with play dates, extracurricular activities and so on. Whatever happened to spending time with the adults in a child’s life, learning new things with them? I love that when I craft with my daughter, it’s a perfect opportunity for her and I to slow down, de-stress and reconnect. I’m all too aware that soon she’ll be a teen. I’m all too aware that she spends so much time at school, and less time with her dad and I as a result.

I think once our kids start school, it’s so easy to let that time together slide and for parents to become disconnected from their children. We need, as a society, to re-claim that bond with our children. What better way to do that than by teaching them new things? And please, if you’re reading this, and you and/or your child aren’t crafty, don’t think that’s that’s the only way to spend time and connect with your school-aged child. I’ll be talking about lots of ways we can keep that bond alive with our older kids very soon.

Did you french knit as a kid? Did you have a wooden cotton spool with four nails bunged into the top, or did you have a store bought ‘knitting nancy’?

Healthy Ways Children Can Express Their Anger

Written on February 12th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Behaviour, Emotional, February 2011, Parenting, Social

This is part three of my anger in children series. In the first post, I talked about inappropriate ways my son has been expressing his anger. I believe it’s important for anyone, kids included, to have the right to feel anger. To feel it fully and be allowed to express it. This series isn’t about stopping your children from getting angry. Anger is a part of life, and is normal. This series also isn’t about raising perfect little robots who are seen and not heard.

Anger is healthy

I want my children to learn to let their anger out in constructive, healthy ways. I believe this is an unhurried process, which comes with life experience, practice and boundary-setting. Missy 10, for the most part (we’ll say 99% of the time) is great at expressing her anger appropriately. This isn’t because she’s in some way a ‘better’ child than Mr 4. She’s older and has maturity, life experience, practise and years of her parents’ teachings under her belt.

She certainly wasn’t always this way and went through all the same struggles our son is facing now. When things get difficult with my son, I console myself with this reminder! It’s interesting to note that when she was four, she was behaving much the same way, and I was the one who was sick, and ended up in hospital for surgery! So bizarre…

Get it all out

I have a list of ways we can redirect our children’s anger. They allow children to vent without doing harm to anyone.

- Bang a drum, or punch playdough.

- Hit their bed, pillow or something soft that won’t get damaged or hurt the child.

- Talk to someone about their feelings, be it a friend, sibling, parent, pet or counsellor. Whoever the child is comfortable with.

- Sing.

- Ride a bike.

- Jump on a trampoline.

- Throw/hit/kick a ball around.

- Dance.

- Hug it out.

- Have a cry.

- Draw or paint.

- Imaginary play, particularly role-playing games.

- Write (for older children)

- Have a bath, swim or general water play. Water is very soothing to children.

- Any physical play that gets their energy out.

- Pillow fights!

Work with your child’s personality

It’s good to experiment with these ideas until you find what works for your child. My son benefits the most from pillow fights or anything physical. (Since the blow-up he had two days ago, he has been telling me when he feels he needs a pillow fight and I set the timer for 10 minutes. Once we’ve thrashed it out, and the timer goes off, we stop. I had to bring the timer in, otherwise he’d want to keep going all day long!) Other times, depending on the extent of his anger, he will cry, talk or hug.

Although he loves to draw, it’d never work for him during the peak of his anger. However, it does help him to draw when he’s calm, as he sometimes will reflect on his past feelings, talk about them and make sense of them. I’m sure there are many more wonderful ideas, so if you have any to share, I’d love to hear them.