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Category Archives: Challenges

Readjusting

Written on September 25th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Challenges

It’s safe to say that there’s been a notable decline in my posting frequency of late. Life is good and I feel my happiest that I’ve ever been.

Missy 10 last week, won the regional spelling bee finals in our area and will be competing at state level in Sydney in a few months. We’re incredibly proud of her, as this year she competed as a senior (last year she was a junior) and a fifth grader, up against other fifth graders and sixth graders. Her poise and calm during the competition blew us away. As so many kids kept getting eliminated, she stayed focused and kept spitting out her answers like a machine. Spelling words that most adults couldn’t. Well done, Missy 10, we love you so much, and even if you hadn’t won, if even you’d come last, we’d still be so proud of you. But this is a sweet success for her, especially after how tough the last few years have been on her. I’m so glad something went really well for her.

My partner, who as some of you know, has OCD and agoraphobia, has really been responding to treatment well. Last year, as he was just starting diagnosis and treatment, was the worst stage of my life, bar none. I lost the man I knew, having him replaced with a stranger I didn’t know nor like very much. His behaviour was harder to deal with than all three of my kids put together. I don’t know when it happened, but earlier this year, he came back.

He’s still incredibly sick, and there’s a lot of things he still can’t do. But, after extensive treatment and medication, I know this guy. The old him, with some new quirks. I’ve gone from a carer who didn’t know how to respond to his needs, to having a better idea of what he needs. He’s enrolled for part-time uni study (to start in November) in the hope that he can one day work again, which is one thing he misses the most since becoming sick. I’m so proud of him for that.

As for me, after such a gruelling, miserable, horrible year last year, things have improved since my partner’s treatment has gotten to a more manageable stage. He can help out around the house a little bit more, which really takes the strain and workload off me.

Here’s where it gets hairy: all last year, I kept worrying with the pressure of caring for someone sick enough to be admitted (but he never was, due to lack of beds), that I would go mad. I used to worry that I’d end up depressed, or have a nervous breakdown. Which worried me more, because I honestly didn’t have time. What would happen if I did? How would everyone else cope? Bottom line: they wouldn’t have, at the time.

So now, as he washes dishes, vacuums the odd floor, or takes the kids for a few hours so I can take a nap, what do you suppose happens when I get a taste of rest, of help? That’s right, my body shuts down and I end up with depression. Our bodies and brains can be so kind sometimes. They can block out distress until a more convenient time, at times like this.

When I started to develop the depression this year, I felt like an ungrateful git. Come on Sharon, things are getting better, can’t you be happy? Of course I am. It’s just that my body seems to have other ideas. It’s exhausted, and wants to stop. If there’s one thing I’m grateful for, it’s that I didn’t develop depression last year in the midst of how bad everything was. That was my biggest fear.

Now, after some trial and error with medication, I have a good antidepressant and am just waiting for it to kick in. I have more freelance writing coming my way, which I’m thrilled about. I’m also going to be starting uni in November. I have two diplomas already and an associate diploma, but I always wanted a degree at some stage, and given that I want to really make a go of this freelance work, now seemed like the best time.

I have loads of emails and comments to answer, please be patient as it might take time to work through it all. I have posts with photos still missing from this blog (since the blog crash in March) that I need to replace manually. I’m accepting that my posting schedule might be a little quiet for a while until I can readjust to all the changes going on. I have some guest posts coming up soon, and I hope you guys will all make the authors of those posts welcome and leave them lots of comments! If you would like to guest post, drop me a line if you have any ideas of what you’d like to write about. You can do this whether you have a blog or not, as long as you can write well and the topic suits the tone of this blog.

I hope this isn’t too much of a misery guts posting from me! As I said, things are getting wonderfully better, they truly are. I just need to be really good to myself so I can really enjoy how good they are.

On the health front, there’s a few updates: as some of you may remember, I quit caffeine for a while this year. I had a good couple of months remaining completely caffeine free. Now, I mostly drink caffeine free diet coke or water, but will occasionally have the odd coke zero, especially if I’m tired. If I don’t have caffeine for a long time, there’s no withdrawal anymore, so although I haven’t remained caffeine free as I was hoping, I feel that it’s not ruling me anymore. Just thought I’d throw in the update as some have asked how that’s going.

Also, some of you have been holding me accountable with my Weight Watchers progress. I’m so glad you are! Yes, I’ve slipped off the program for a few weeks, and I really am keen to get back on. I’m hoping now that I’ve started this new medication, I might feel more capable of getting back into it. I still love the program so much, and definitely believe it works, this has just been a hiccup due my own issues rather than from any fault of Weight Watchers.

I hope this post hasn’t been too much of a downer to read, but in posting it, I’m hoping people can be patient as I try to get back into the swing of things. I love blogging, I love this blog, and everyone who reads it. I can’t wait to be settled in again.

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On My Mind – Chorewars

Written on September 2nd, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Challenges, In the home, Organisation

This is a Friday photo feature from the Down To Earth blog.

What’s on my mind this Friday is my latest obsession, Chore Wars.

I’m so disorganised when it comes to cleaning. I tried the Fly Lady method for a while, and for a while, it worked. Then it just did my head in. The site I’m talking about today is way more fun.

If you could combine World of Warcraft with Fly Lady, you’d get Chore Wars. It’s free to play and you can earn XP and ‘gold’ for doing chores. For someone like me, I’m finding this a very motivating way to get cleaning. My kids and partner love it too, which means I get more help around here!

To play, you simple need to set up an account and either start your own party or join someone else’s. I have a party named ‘HMR’, which now has 51 players! We’re having fun and supporting each other as we go. If you’d like to join this party for some motivation, you’re more than welcome to join here. As time goes on and the need arises, I add new chores to this group. If there’s a chore missing that you’d like to see added, either leave a message here or on my facebook page and I’ll be only to happy to add it as soon as I get the time.

I know some people will probably read this and think, ‘why not just do the cleaning?’ Well yeah, there’s that. And that actually works for some. For me even, sometimes. But usually, I find it dead boring. It’s nice to have something to break up the monotony. I’m even thinking of starting a second party for bloggers. Would anyone be interested in that?

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Weight Watchers: More Success!

Written on August 16th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Challenges, Good times, Health and beauty

So, if you’ve been following my progress with Weight Watchers, you’d know the first week went really well. A recap for those who don’t know: I went to the Bloggers’ Brunch at Melbourne, and received a free six month membership to the online program and grabbed it with open arms.

Here’s some before and after shots to today:

In case you can’t tell, the photo on the left is before I started and the right is now. I still have a long way to go, but the pants I’m wearing in this shot are constantly falling down nowadays. I just wanted to wear the same outfit to help see the difference. I probably will have to wear something smaller, possibly more snug to be able to tell in the next photos. Now front on…

Again, left is before, right is after. I think it’s harder to see a difference in this pic. The main changes I see here are a more prominent collarbone and my shirt sits lower now because I’ve lost some boobs (love that!).

But you probably wanna hear some numbers, right? Ok!

This week, I lost 1.5kg. I think that’s pretty awesome. All up, since starting two weeks ago, I’ve lost 3.5kg. I’m still finding the program easy, although this week after my first weigh-in, the reality of doing this over an extended period of time set in and I was a little overwhelmed by that. Then my pedometer and a cookbook I ordered came in the mail and got me all pumped up again.

I haven’t tried any recipes in the cookbook yet, but the pictures make me drool like Homer Simpson. I’ve been using the pedometer everyday, and as you can see on today’s reading, I earned an extra two activity points just by counting my steps and trying to get more incidental exercise into my day.

Since last week’s measurement screenshot was hard to read, I’ll just quickly jot down my measurement changes:

Weight: 59.5kg (Week one, it was 63kg)

Bust: 96cm (Week one was 101cm)

Waist: 83cm (Week one: 87cm)

Hips: 100cm (Week one: 101cm) Yes! I managed to lose something off this area this time, unlike last week, when it wouldn’t budge.

Arms: 26.5cm (Week one: 28cm)

Thighs: 50cm (Week one: 54cm)

Size: 16. This is the same size I started out with. I checked a sizing chart, and it appears I’m inching towards a 14 now, but I read somewhere on the Weight Watchers site that it takes roughly 5kgs of weight loss to drop a size.

Oh! I forgot another cool bit of info; I reached a Weight Watchers’ milestone this week! Looky:

See that star? That means I’ve reached the 5% weight loss goal. I’m thrilled to have achieved that in just my second week! I love that Weight Watchers manages to present this in such a motivating way, to make me feel as though I’m getting somewhere early on. On my community page (think of it like a facebook ‘wall’), these are my awards thus far:

I’m finding the whole site so encouraging. Filling out my points online each day is like playing a computer game, not the drudgery I was worried it might be before I started.

Other changes are that I’m loving eating breakfast, I feel lighter going about my day, I have less neck, back and headaches. I’m becoming increasingly aware that I’ll need to buy new clothes much sooner than expected before I embarrass myself with a public (accidental) pants dropping.

I feel much happier already, and sleep much more soundly thanks to all the exercise I’m doing. I’ve been having one rest day per week from exercise, just to avoid injury and because well, sometimes I just get a bit sore and tired.

Just remember, if you’re interested, you can follow my Weight Watchers diary here and also, I’m giving away a Weight Watchers online membership to one lucky person at my new giveaway site, Winning Mums’ facebook page. Unlike most giveaways I run, this one does come with conditions, so please make sure you read those before entering. If you’re a member of Weight Watchers online, I’d love it if you come to my diary or page and say hello, even make friends! It’s the community support that helps so much with this program.

I hope you’ve enjoyed following this so far. I must say, knowing that I’ll be writing back and being held accountable to you guys has been a primary motivator as well.

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Weight Watchers – My First Weigh-In

Written on August 9th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Challenges, Good times, Health and beauty

I’m not a great one for fan fare at the moment, I’d much rather just launch right into my results:

I LOST TWO FREAKIN’ KILOS!!!!

Ahem. Hurray! I’m so happy with that result. Let me go into my measurements, also:

I’m so pleased to have lost so much from my bust, as my partner and I have been frequently discussing whether or not I should get a breast reduction. Prior to starting the program, we always agreed it’d be better to try to lose weight first. My boobs were starting to give me headaches, neckaches and backaches. My small frame just can’t carry it. I do notice that I’m less ache-y this week.

I’m sorry I couldn’t make this picture for you a little larger to read, but it would’ve burst out of my columns!

So, what have I been doing differently? I’ve been making sure I exercise daily. This week, I’ll make sure I give myself a day’s rest from it somewhere though, to avoid injury. I’ve been using exercise DVDs, but mostly the Xbox Kinect. (It’s a bit like a Wii, only better, because you don’t stand on a board, or hold any gadgets in your hands)

I’ve been tracking what I eat, and using the ProPoints system with Weight Watchers. It’s felt incredibly easy, so far. I mean obviously, I had to put the work into my exercise and really work up a sweat, but it was a pleasure to be moving again. I’m normally the type of person who thrives on exercise, so I think it explains why this last year mostly without exercise has been tough on my energy levels and emotional well being.

I’ve still been eating foods I enjoy, if anything, I enjoy what I eat so much more now. I’ve been so busy and tired prior to starting this program that I was forgetting to eat breakfast and lunch most days. Once the afternoon hit, I’d be understandably starving, and grab whatever junk I could get my hands on. I’m sure you can easily imagine how much more energy I now have due to eating properly throughout the day again. It’s so funny; I would never let my kids go that long without eating! So why is it, it was ok to do that to myself?

The important thing though, is that behaviour’s had a stop put to it. I still crave chocolate. And I have it. But instead of a block of chocolate like the old days, I now have a Weight Watcher’s brownie or one of their mini chocolate rolls. Easily as good as the real thing. Easily. I ate MacDonald’s french fries on my first day. But only half of a kids’ sized package. Yes, I actually stopped myself after a taste!

I’ve been filling up on point-free food, such as vegetables and fruit, a lot more. One ‘danger’ period for me is after dinner when the kids are in bed. That’s when I’d always want to snack a lot. I still do, but instead of junk food, it’s now the point-free foods instead.

I’m so in love with how doable it all is, and how well it’s fitting into my life. I love how the Weight Watchers online community is just like facebook, only more supportive. I love how in the first week, I’ve already made friends on there and we are supporting each other through the triumphs and the hard bits. I love that I can blog over there, and I love the Weight Watchers facebook page. All of these things show me that I’m not in this on my own. I spend a lot of time at both sites each day, to learn, to look at the hundreds of inspiring before and after weight loss pictures, to get tips and to enjoy hearing about others’ successes.

Yesterday, I was nervous about weighing in today. Funnily enough, I saw a lot of members on the site yesterday, experiencing great weight loss. I was over the moon for all of them. Of course, it encouraged me too, and made me try just that little bit harder with my program on the day leading up to my own weigh in. I know there are people there who are wishing me the best of luck for a good result, and that feels awesome. I love that we can all send each other these cute little tokens for encouragement, too. I sent out a few ‘proud of you’ tokens for members who’d lost weight yesterday. And of course, I can’t wait for the community members whom I’ve made friends with to see how I’ve done after my first weigh in.

If you’re doing Weight Watchers, or even trying to lose weight another way, please let me know how you are going.

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Angry Kids Learn by Repetition

Written on July 6th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Challenges, Emotional, Parenting, Social

This installment in my anger in children series has taken a while to write, but here we are at last! I began that series before my infamous blog crash, and am slowly catching up on things around here.

One thing that’s clear about teaching our children how to express their anger appropriately, is that they don’t just start behaving perfectly after one outburst, one chat or one consequence. Children learn best via repetition, especially when it relates to behaviour.

Children need the rules repeated many times

Children have so many things they are learning at any given time, and for the under fives, they will not be able to remember all the boundaries you’ve set for appropriate ways to express anger. They will need to to have the rules/expectations/alternative responses repeated to them many times in order for them to be able to take them on board and put them into action.

The rules will feel foreign to them at first. It feels so natural for a child to hit back at a child who has hit them, and really, what we’re asking of them goes against the grain for little kids. It’s important to stick with it and don’t panic or give up if it feels as though your child is thumbing their nose at what you’re saying.

I remember when my eldest daughter was four and having some explosive anger outbursts! I found myself wondering where I’d gone wrong, panicking that what I was doing wasn’t working and basically second guessing my approach. Should I try something different? Is she ever going to actually learn? I’ll tell you, kids may act as though they’re refusing to listen to you, but deep inside, they are! It didn’t take long for her to learn what was expected of her, and now we rarely have a problem with her reacting inappropriately.

Likewise, with my son who was four when I began writing this series and is now five, he is getting it! Yet I went through a stage where I felt as though he never would! We need to have some faith in ourselves, faith in our children and some good old fashioned persistence.

It takes time for kids to become aware of the reactions of others to their anger

When children are younger, they’re more egocentric. The main concern is for how they feel. As they mature and grow, they become increasingly aware of the feelings of others. They become more concerned about others too. The more we talk to our kids about how anger works and how it should be expressed, the more children begin to notice how others feel when they get angry.

My son, over time, soon came to expect others to cry if he hurt them, or become equally angry in return. He soon learnt that if he didn’t hurt others or break their property, he was still ‘allowed’ to feel angry and would even be praised for expressing it in a healthy way! Once he experienced this a few times, he felt much more safe in his anger, and it seemed that it had less of an over powering ‘hold’ over him. Children can become quite frightened of their own anger, as if it almost takes over them and makes them feel as though they’re losing control.

The best gift we can give our kids is the security of feeling as though they have control over their feelings, and not the other way around. They can feel angry and still believe they’re a good person, both during and after the feeling. This is far better for a child’s self esteem than knowing they’re taking their anger to a harmful level and feeling as though they are ‘bad’ because of it.

It takes time for kids to observe others getting angry

Once children have an idea about the rules and expectations they are to follow when they’re angry, you will notice them watching how others, young and old, deal with their anger. My son notices his younger sister getting angry and throwing things. He flinches, and cries if he gets hurt. He sees how it feels. He sees that there are consequences for her, too.

He sees his older sister get angry. He sees her try to talk about it, or go off somewhere by herself to cool down. He sees that there are only positive outcomes when she does this. My son sees my partner and I get angry. We try to model healthy ways to express it, and if we fall short, he sees that we apologise and realises everyone is held accountable to the same expectations.

Now my son is aware of what is a reasonable way to express anger and what is not, he is keenly aware of everyone else’s behaviour when we’re out in public, or even in books or on tv. I can see that in his mind, he’s measuring it all up against the rules that have been set before him.

My son can now see, after repeated experience, how unpleasant harmful explosions of anger can be, and how easy healthy anger release can be. That anger isn’t something that has to be feared. Everyone gets angry, and it’s a part of life, and it’s perfectly acceptable. I think when children start out expressing their anger in a harmful way, they feel as though they’re in trouble for being angry in the first place! They don’t realise that it’s simply the way they’re reacting to their anger that is causing the problem.

It’s the repeated experience, over and over again, that teaches them what to do.

It takes time for children to form their own strategies and test them

As I’ve mentioned before, my son enjoyed pillow fights most of all as a way to release his anger without harming others. Over time, he’s become confident to control his anger enough to stop and tell me what he is angry about. He’s also taught himself to count to ten before reacting.

I’ve heard many people suggest the ‘count to ten’ method. I’ve never bothered to suggest it to my kids, because I don’t use it myself, and could never see the point. Yet this was an idea my son came up with on his own, and it works better for him than any other technique. I also notice that as he’s counting quietly to himself, he’s breathing deeply too! It comes down to what I said earlier: having faith in your child’s abilities.

The more my son tests different techniques, the more he’s working out which ones help him, and which ones he’d prefer not to use. With repetition, it has become a habit, something he can do now with less thought. He’s now empowered. Hell, so am I! Well… not really. You see, now Missy 3 is picking up where he left off, and I’ll be starting all these teachings again from scratch! Oh well, never a dull moment, I guess.

I liken teaching kids about healthy anger management to learning to put a new puzzle together. You start out not knowing how to do it, and it’s a slow process to put the whole picture together. Then, eventually, you come up with strategies (for example, starting with the straight-edged pieces) to work through the challenge. You find when you attempt the puzzle a second time it’s a little easier, and if you’ve completed it twenty times, you can do it on auto-pilot.

This is where the repetition of anger management techniques come into play for kids; consistently let them know your expectations, give them healthy strategies and let them practice them over and over again. Eventually, they will ‘get’ it.

Which stage are you at with your kids at the moment? Are they at the stage where it’s not out of hand yet, or just starting to explode? Or are they at the stage where they can get it out healthily?

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Sewing Kids’ Clothes..fast!

Written on June 14th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Challenges, Handmade, In the home, Organisation, Projects, Saving money

I’m going to state the bleedin’ obvious here: sewing clothes for your children saves money. If it’s a hobby of yours, it’s enjoyable, a creative outlet and it’s so rewarding. I love how children appreciate clothes made by me, so much more than the bought stuff.

There’s just one little glitch: time. You can be the world’s best dressmaker but if you’re flat out looking after your kids, how the bloody hell are you meant to actually finish projects in time for your child to wear them? They just have such an annoying habit of growing, don’t they?

This is a constant challenge for me, despite having my own dedicated studio especially for these types of projects. I have worked out a few ways I can fast-track some projects to ensure they’ll be whipped up before the kids outgrow them. I’m still not sewing as much as I’d like to be, but it’s a start. I find when you’re a mother and you want to do something, doing what you can just has to be enough a lot of the time. I’m finding winter is an especially helpful time to make your own garments, as that’s where the savings can really kick in. I’ve mentioned my frozen toilet on facebook recently, so I know some of you have a fair idea of how cold it’s getting out this way!

Opt for pull-on styles

If you can cast your mind back to last year, you’ll remember this dress:

This was made for Missy 3 (then 2). It’s a peasant style and is fully elasticised; no buttons, zippers or other fastenings. I also like this dress sewn by Fiona over at Inner Pickle. Very simple, but beautiful and versatile. Other easy pull-on styles include skirts, pants made out of knitted fabrics (although there are some good pull-on versions for woven fabrics too if you look for them), t-shirts and jumpers.

Opt for less detail in the pattern

Below is the pattern of a dress I’m currently working on for Missy 3. It does have buttons, but only two. It also has some applique which counts as detail, I know.. But if you look at the style, it’s a very basic shift dress. No frills, pockets, sleeves, etc. I could make the dress itself quickly if I chose not to do the applique. However, this one is cute enough for me to be willing to add that extra detail. I find it’s much easier for me to spend time on details such as hand embroidery where I can sit with it in front of the telly, than to look for more time with the sewing machine. This will be very warm, and I’ll be able to pick up some cheap but cute stockings and skivvies to go under it.

What if you don’t even have time for that?

Well, cheat! Missy 3 outgrew that dress I made in the first picture too fast. It was very roomy, except in the underarm area. It still had loads of room for a skirt. I didn’t have to cut out a pattern, do seams or hems.. I didn’t have to sew those beautiful tiers again. My plan was to simply chop the top off, make a quick casing and chuck some elastic in. This didn’t take long at all. Not even an afternoon. Missy 10 was in the studio with me. She likes to poke around her grandma’s and great-grandma’s sewing baskets that I inherited, and pore over the treasures inside. And did she find treasure? Reams and reams of white lace! I was in such a hurry to run up that casing and be done, that it didn’t occur to me to use this lace until I saw it.

By quickly adding some to the hem and tiers, this skirt looks relatively different to the original dress. I’ll be stocking up on lots of brick-a-brack like this from now on. It’s a super fast way to revive old clothes. I have a pile of dresses (from both Missy 10 and 3) next to my sewing machine. Everytime I get a minute, I’m going to hack the tops off, and elasticise the waists. Too easy, and far less wasteful.

I like to attempt to give as many items in this house at least a second life, whenever I possibly can. Dani has shared before how she’s cropped long pants into shorts for her two kids when they were younger, and it seems mad not to!

More basic: sew a rectangle

In other words, sew a simple skirt from scratch. It can be tiered, or a basic elastic-waisted skirt. Even if you came up with your own design, it’s very hard to stuff up if you can sew in a straight line. If you want to go into slightly more detail but retain the simplicity and speed of a quick skirt, you might like the market skirt. I think this looks adorable! The pattern is free, it takes 2-3 hours, and I’m definitely adding it to the repertoire.

Mend.

A great use of a sewer’s time and skills can be the simple act of mending clothes. Remember that? When people would actually mend their clothing rather than just throw it out and buy something new straight away? A while back, I was reading over at Down To Earth and she was talking about this subject, and I realised at the time that it rarely occurs to us these days. We’re all too busy, too rush, rush, rush! It’s not as pleasurable in the creative sense as actually making clothing, but by god it can save money.

We should all take a leaf from Rhonda’s book and start making our clothes last longer. Again, this can be done during tv time.

Learn other clever ways to upcycle clothes

I find Violet Le Beaux to be a briliant resource for this stuff. A lot of her ideas could easily translate to children’s clothing. She’s forever chopping up her clothes and making them into even better ones.

But I like spending time on long projects!

Me too. There’s no reason we can’t still do that. You can always make lengthier, more detailed projects on kids’ items that won’t be grown out of. Think bed linen (patchwork quilts are truly precious, and many children love to hang onto these right into adulthood), cushions, room decor, and so on. With these projects it doesn’t matter so much if it takes you longer to complete them.

If you have a fast sewing tip, I’d love to hear from you.

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How do You Choose the Best Baby Formula?

Written on May 17th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Baby, Care, Challenges, Food, Health and beauty, May 2011

If you plan on feeding your baby formula milk, making a choice as to which brand to use can be a minefield. Manufacturers are not permitted to advertise their products, and in Australia, health professionals are prohibited from giving advice as to which brands are better than others.

Before I go on, I’m going to add this disclaimer: when I say, ‘if you plan on feeding your baby formula’, I’m referring to any situation that may call for this plan. You might be an adoptive mother or foster carer. You may have tried breast feeding and it didn’t work out. Or you may not want to breastfeed. This post is not about women’s reasons for using baby formula. Everybody knows that breast milk is the best possible way to feed an infant, and this is not an anti-breastfeeding post. I write this piece free of any judgement of any parent or carer who finds them self using baby formula.

In the ten years that I’ve been a parent, a lot has changed. I had my first child then, born a month premature. She was fed a combination of baby formula and my milk for the first two weeks; mostly my milk, though. I won’t go into the reasons why today, but breastfeeding ended up not working out for us, and so after two weeks, we switched her to formula. I was able to talk to health professionals about formula brands, and what the differences were. Some gave opinions on which were better than others or more suited to my daughter’s needs.

In hospital, the brand she was given was Enfalac, but by the time she arrived home, she was fully fed on breast milk. When I put her on formula, I started her on S-26. She had dreadful, painful constipation. Back then, the Tresillian nurse I spoke to on the phone was easily able to tell me that little babies such as my daughter don’t always do so well on S-26 due to it’s high iron and sodium content. She suggested I check the label for these levels, then choose a formula milk that had lower ones. We followed her advice, switched over to Karicare and voila! Crisis over. Happy baby.

Fast forward to six years later when I had our next child, my son. We breastfed for five weeks, then changed to formula after that. Oh my god! What a nightmare it was trying to get any useful information! The brands had changed in that time, and good old Tresillian this time were restricted from being able to advise me on which brands were better than others. I was kindly told this, and she muttered, ‘all I can say is, they’re pretty much all the same’. (Except, in my opinion, when you factor in that all children are individuals and react differently to different brands)

I googled the subject, and got no answers there, either. The only way I could find what I was looking for was to take myself to the store and research the labels myself. With a high-maintenance baby boy, I decided to wait until my partner came home so that he could help with bubs and I could take my time to read in peace.

So, how do you decide which formula to choose these days? If you need advice, who do you turn to?

It’s not great to change a baby’s formula regularly, as it can wreak havoc on their little tummies, so it’s no wonder as mums we feel the pressure to try to get it right as early as possible. I have some suggestions here on points you might like to consider before choosing a brand. Of course, if your child has reflux, lactose intolerance, is premature, or has other medical issues, definitely talk about this with your doctor.

Read the label

Pretty obvious, but read the nutritional information on the back of the tins at the shop, or your friends’ at their home. Do you want your baby to have omega-3′s added, or probiotics? Do you feel comfortable with the nutrients offered, in the amounts given?

Some people choose to boycott Nestle

Many of us are aware of this, and if you aren’t, you can read a brief summary on why here. I mostly boycotted Nestle, but I did go through a stage when formula feeding my son, where I did use it. It’s your choice, but it’s important to know what goes on behind the scenes so you can choose whether you want to vote with your dollar or not.

Think about your budget

Think about how often you get paid; is it weekly, fortnightly? How many tins will you need in that time? How much will this cost? Some brands are more expensive than others. Cost may not be a factor for some, but if it is for you, this could heavily influence the choice you make. The first formula my son started out with was Bellamy Organic formula. It was one of the more expensive ones. At the time, we could factor it into our budgets, and decided to use it. In the second half of his first year, we wanted to tighten our belts a little more, and so we then changed brands to Nestle, which was one of the cheaper options at that time. He was also on solids, so we felt not as bad doing this as we would’ve when we was a newborn.

Try to gauge availability of different brands

When I had my son on Bellamy organic formula, I was very happy with it, but sourcing it each week was often a nightmare. Stocks often ran low in my town, which made it difficult to buy on many occassions. I’d end up having to look for it in other towns, often spending a lot of time and money travelling to do this. This was almost five years ago though, and hopefully things have changed!

Obviously, I had no clue this was a problem when I started my son on this brand, otherwise I wouldn’t have chosen it. If you know other mums who are formula feeding, it’s a good idea to ask if they ever have problems with low stock for their brand, or if they’ve ever heard of it happening to mums who use other brands. It’s especially important if you don’t live in a metropolitan area.

Sometimes it takes trial and error

Despite our best attempts to choose carefully, sometimes certain brands simply don’t agree with our babies. Like the S-26 with my daughter. Or my son, with a particular brand (the name which now escapes me) with high levels of acidophilus. He got a terrible rash with that formula, and I had to switch to something that had no acidophilus instead. Although I said earlier that it’s not good to switch products regularly, sometimes the only way to know what’s best for your child is to experience it first hand.

Have you ever been in a position where you’ve used baby formula? How did you choose which brand to use? Who did you turn to for advice? What would your advice be to other mums in this situation?

Walk or Scream?

Written on May 7th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Challenges, Good times, May 2011, Relationships, Soap box

Although tomorrow is Mothers’ Day, I’ve already got my presents. I’ve been given a delish cake just the other day, and some cupcakes to munch on tonight. Mr 4 has even proudly presented me with a free magazine from the supermarket and coyly told me, ‘this is for you, Mum’. Missy 10 has told me she can’t wait to give me the present she made for Mothers’ Day.

So, I’m all set. Feeling nice and appreciated. I hope for the same for all mothers everywhere tomorrow. If you’ve been reading, you’ll know I recently got to ring my mother on her birthday. I’ll be ringing her again for Mothers’ Day tomorrow.

A little back story for those of you who don’t know: a few months ago, my mum, who is quite young, had two strokes in one day. (Well, technically, one in the evening, then one later that night). She’s now in rehab, and has been learning to swallow food and fluids again. She’s already mastered this, after a lot of hard work. She’s also been working on getting more movement in her right arm/hand, walking and doing more things for herself.

She needs to spend eight hours a day working on her program. It’s highly intensive work, including time in the gym, having electrodes on her to stimulate her arm and doing many other tasks that would be menial to most of us, over and over again. Constant repetition.

She was admitted into rehab sooner than was expected, because her progress was astounding, even at that point. Everything she’s acheived so far, has happened much, much earlier than is the norm, none of the staff expected any of it.

The result of her putting in so much hard work, has meant that she’s also now walking. Not all the time, but a little more everyday. A few days ago, she was asked to walk down the corridor so everyone could see her do it, since they’d all heard she was now walking, but wanted to see (the staff have been wonderful, and excellent cheerleaders). She walked that corridor, and everyone who saw her cheered and clapped loudly. Her and my Dad were proud enough to burst.

When someone has a stroke, one big problem they can face is depression, which can hinder their progress drastically, if morale isn’t kept up. And yes, my mum does have days like this, but thankfully the good days sound as though they’re outweighing the depressing ones. She has the added bonus of having been given a more intensive program than she would normally have, because the staff know she’s so determined to put in the hard work. This has only made my parents happier.

When I talked to Dad on the phone yesterday, he told me there was another lady in the same situation as my mum. Staff put her in the wheelchair to take her to the gym, and she screamed the hospital down, ‘I don’t want to do it, don’t take me, I don’t want to do it!‘ and putting up quite a fight. The staff knew they couldn’t do anything to help her that day, so they put her back in bed.

My mum looked at Dad, and said, ‘that’s not me. I want to walk out of here.’

Although it’s a very simplistic story, and may not take into account what the other lady might’ve been going through, I still can’t help but be inspired by her attitude. It’s all about strength, knowing what you want, and working hard for it. Accepting the bad days, and trying bloody hard to ensure the good days outweigh them. I have been amazed three times in my life, watching all my children learn to walk over time. But how many of us get, as adults, to watch our own mother learn to walk all over again? That’s amazing.

My mother didn’t ask for a stroke or two. In fact, what’s eery about her stroke, is that a few hours before she had the first one, she and my father were talking about someone they knew who’d had a stroke and ended up being a vegetable for 20 years. My mum said to my dad, ‘I think that’s the worst thing that could ever happen. If that happens to me, please don’t let me be a vegetable!’ So you can imagine how frightened she was when she had hers.

It’s made me realise that when the tough times hit, as they do for all of us, at one time or another, that we have a choice. None of us ask for the tough times that are thrown our way. We can scream that we don’t want to do the things that could help get us out of our situation and refuse to do them, or we can decide what we want, then slowly and painstakingly walk out of it.

So, are you going to walk next time things don’t go your way, or are you going to scream?

Happy Mothers’ Day.

Peeved.

Written on May 6th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Challenges, In the home, May 2011

There are no words (except for these words to tell you there are no words). I’ll let the pictures tell the story.

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How Can Mums Get the Exercise They Need?

Written on May 5th, 2011 by Hear Mum Roar in Challenges, Good times, Gross motor, Health and beauty, May 2011, Parenting, Saving money, School aged, Teens

I’ve been a lover of exercise since my late teens. Not the crappy PE-type exercise we did at school, or team sports. I’m more interested in workouts such as walking, using weights, aerobics and yoga. I’ve tried pilates in the past and enjoyed it, but I haven’t really gotten into it in a big way as yet.

When we lived in Sydney, we had *horrors* no car. We were in a fairly toffee-nosed suburb, and I would be walking to and from school, half an hour each way, twice a day. (Thankfully, I had some wonderful mum friends who’d offered to help me with lifts when I needed it) When my youngest started kindergarten (first year of ‘big’ school in NSW), I sported a pregnant belly. When my son was born, I’d be out pushing the pram, and very soon after, another pregnant belly. Then, I graduated to a double limosine-style pram, and I can tell you honestly, that put me through my paces. Once my fiance got sick and wasn’t working, I would leave the younger two kids with him as I took my eldest child to school, which made it faster, plus reduced the strain on my back, not having to push that heavy thing around so often.

There were only two types of responses I’d get from the other mums: horror (‘I couldn’t survive without a car!!’ Not really what one wants to hear when they’re trying to be stoic) and encouragement. I’m sure you can imagine which group I made a higher number of friends in! Although this regime was a little too extreme for my joints most of the time, I never had to watch my weight. I ate pretty much what I wanted. It was only once I stopped pushing that heavy pram that my metabolism slowed down a little. Once we got a new car a few months before we moved here, man, I got fat fast.

In some ways, I don’t regret taking such a drastic break from exercise for so long. I have a horrible hip injury from giving birth to my eldest daughter, and I find that an hour a day of exercise is perfect to stop it from jamming up. More than that just aggravates it. After so many years of walking two hours per day, five days a week, either pregnant and/or pushing prams, my body honestly needed the rest. I enjoy walking long distances, but the amount I was doing became a bit of a drag.

Since we’ve moved to a remote country town and need to drive to most places, my exercise slipped even more. You guessed it, I kept gaining weight. My hip started getting stuck and sore again. I’m only 5’1, and small-boned, so the slightest weight gain really puts a strain on my joints.

It’s funny; a year ago I wrote this post, about wanting to get into a new exercise routine. I dabbled in walking, but found it not so inspiring. A walk around the block in this town doesn’t take long at all, then once I’ve done that, I don’t know where to walk next! There are no hills, which I’m used to, and everything’s completely flat. I find it hard to raise a sweat at all, walking around the block. Having grown up as a child in a beach town, and now living further inland than I ever have before, has made me homesick for a good ocean walk. I found a walk I enjoyed, walking in the outskirts of town, and I loved it. No oceans of course, but lots of beautiful farms to look at, and dams with ducks swimming in them. Canola fields and sheep.

Being a new habit and a new town, I didn’t get to go walking as often as I would’ve liked. There was also my partner’s anxiety to consider. I couldn’t/can’t just up and leave the house or the kids with him whenever I feel like it. I’m needed here. It’s far too hot in summer for the farm walk, not to mention snaky.

Recently, my partner and I had a group meeting with his and my support workers about his situation. It became rapidly apparent that I had a need for relaxation, and fast! I suggested yoga, and suggestions of classes flew in, thick and fast. Being in a remote area, this would be costly for us in terms of petrol in addition to the cost of the actual class. I was pretty sure the class timetable wouldn’t fit into our schedule and I knew my chances at actually being able to do my yoga was heavily dependent on what sort of day my partner was having.

So, out of a need to bring some relaxation techniques into my life, I’ve stumbled into creating a fully-fledged work out area. We have an office attached to our shop, in which we had stored a tv and coffee table gathering dust until we found a spot for them. We went to Big W and purchased a simple book on yoga with a DVD yoga session attached for roughly $11.

The result evolved into this:

It’s nothing fancy, but hugely practical. I had a floor mat handy, so I used that to define the space (these were moved to the shop), and pad the concrete floor for extra comfort. (As you can see, the tv is quite grotty, but I took this photo soon after setting it up and cleaned up the area soon after)

I had a bunch of exercise dvds and equipment I hadn’t been using. I tried using them in the lounge room, but it was too disruptive with children so close by. Even if I waited until their bedtime, the two younger ones would be too distracted by what I was doing to sleep! So although this area started out solely for yoga, it’s opened up the opportunity to solve my exercise problem also. I can go to this area by myself when I know it suits my partner and do what needs to be done.

Once I started getting back into exercise, I realised how much I’d missed this! The stress release, the adrenaline, the feeling of accomplishment. I’ve had a little break from working out for the past few weeks as I’ve had the flu, but I honestly can’t wait to get back in there.

I know some mums who read this will be thinking, ‘that’s all well and good, but she has a separate shop, not everyone has that!’ and this is true. Trust me, I can relate, having moved from a cramped two-bedroom cottage housing five of us. I also know how it feels to get stuck in a fitness rut, completely willing to exercise, but finding it hard to make it actually happen, due to being a mum.

Here’s some tips I think might be helpful for mums who are truly finding it a challenge to get that much-needed workout time in:

Wear a pedometer during the day and work towards a step-count goal. Incidental exercise is recognised nowadays as being just as effective as time set aside to work out. It’s a good way to ease back into being more active. I did this a few times when we first moved here, and it encouraged me to do a little more, and planted the idea of looking for places to walk. (Admittedly, I was disappointed with the offerings, but just because it didn’t work for me this time, doesn’t mean it wouldn’t for others)

Look at your obstacles to exercise and try to find creative ways to make it happen. If you can see a chunk of time in your day where your kids can be looked after by someone else, make the most of that time. If gyms and classes don’t suit you due to money or clashing timetables, don’t let that be your reason to give up. If you are able to exercise with your kids and are happy to, then that’s great too. I personally prefer to exercise on my own at the moment, because I find the alone time is better for my stress levels.

Think about what you’ve got that could help you. Do you have an exercise bike or dumbells gathering dust? Don’t be put off using them just because you may not have been up until now. Maybe you just need to find a more suitable time/place to use them. Where would be the best place for you to exercise without disruption? What time would that be?

Ask for support. If you have a partner, ask them to help you make this happen. You might need them to look after the kids, or help move your family schedule around a little to ensure you get this time. Although my partner has severe mental illness and needs my help with a lot of things, there are still times in the day when he’s capable of spending time with the kids whilst I disappear to exercise.If you’re a single parent, can you get anyone to help you with the kids? If not, can you make walking to school with the kids your exercise? If your kids are older, you can ask them to respect this time of yours, and to avoid distracting you unless it’s urgent.

Where suitable, get the kids involved. It’s really dangerous to have little kids hanging around your treadmill, but there’s lots of ways kids can be involved. If you have a wii fit, you can play that together for some family fun, or run around together at the park or in your backyard. Sometimes Missy 10 will have a go of my yoga dvd. She loves the relaxation it brings, and I think it’s great that she finds a stress release right before the teen years. It’s also her NAPLAN year again, and usually she gets a little stressed about it. As mentioned, you can also walk together. I’m going to mention bike riding here too, because although I hate bikes with a passion, I know lots of family do this, enjoy it and it works for them.

Talk to other mums and find out what works for them. Often brainstorming and sharing ideas can lead to inspiration, especially if it’s a recommendation for a great gym or walking route. Also, let’s talk to each other here, share our ideas and see if we can add more solutions to this list.

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