Let me paint you a little picture: you’re out shopping. You’re tired. Your three year old child is tired. You both just want to finish the shopping and get the hell home. You’re at the counter, and almost out the door. Your little angel has decided to demand something shiny and exciting (to them) on the display shelf next to the counter. Something you have no intention of buying. You say ‘no’.

Before you can say, ‘someone get me a valium sandwich!’ your precious one is writhing on the floor, screaming at full pelt. Everyone is looking at you. I’m not sure why, since you’re not the one screaming. I think it’s because they’re all waiting to see what you’re going to do about it. Or to wonder where the hell you went wrong to raise such an evil hellion. You’ve gotta love ‘em…

If you’re having an especially bad run of luck, these same people will weigh in with useless advice:

- give the child a belting.

- shut your little brat up.

- just buy it for them.

Sadly, none of this is helping, since there’s a high chance you are trying to quickly come up with a plan of action yourself, and the strangers in the store who know what your child needs so much better than you do, are adding to your stress.

Are you nodding yet?

With a two year-old girl and a three year-old boy in this house, I sure as hell am. I deal with this at the moment on a daily basis, multiplied by two. So now is a good time for me to post about this, whilst it’s fresh in my mind.

The short answer to, ‘how do I stop tantrums?’ is, you can’t. Sorry. If there was, there wouldn’t be so many exhausted, frazzled-looking parents running around all over town. The good news is, over the next few days I’m going talk about things we can do to make it as painless as possible for both mother/father/carer and child.

I’ll be talking about:

- Why children have tantrums, and the two main types of tantrums there are.

- Working out your child’s tantrum triggers and how to avoid them.

- Language we can use to minimise and prevent tantrums.

- What we can do if a child still has a tantrum and how to keep your composure if it happens in a public place.

- How to be a good ‘witness’ to other peoples’ children having tantrums in public.

I’d like to state at this point, that not everyone will always agree on the one way to deal with tantrums. Some people take a strict approach and others like a ‘gentle parenting’ approach. My approach lies somewhere in the middle. My way is not the be all and end-all, but it’s what I choose to use, and readers can take what advice they like and leave the parts they disagree with. As long as children aren’t being harmed, I’d like to think we can all be respectful of the different ways that parents and carers approach this.

I’ll end with a question for you: what is the worst tantrum a child in your care has ever thrown?

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